This week the New Jersey Housewives rang in the New Year, but we didn't get to hear much about their New Year's Resolutions. Melissa resolved not to let Teresa bother her, and that's just about all we heard. So, I've taken the liberty of writing some resolutions for them. These are either what I assume they have resolved, or what I think they should resolve to make for better television.Melissa: Buy More Hats!
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Sure, she shouldn't let Teresa bother her, but in 2012, Melissa should focus on what's most important: stocking up on hats. I want to continue seeing a new hat in every episode.Caroline: Find More Ways to be Inspired by Blade Runner.
Look at this hair. It's totally post-apocalyptic 80's. Maybe Caroline is a Replicant?Jacqueline: Tell Ashley Off.
It's about time Ashley was told how disrespectful and generally unappealing her behavior is. Maybe Jacqueline will finally grow a pair in 2012!Kathy: Find More Ways to Make People Jealous with Baked Goods
Teresa was not happy that Kathy came up with the idea to start a catering business. Only Teresa is allowed to cook! I say keep it up, Kathy, even if you don't know you're doing it.Teresa: Learn More Turns of Phrase, and How to Pronounce "Cumin."
She's an author now, after all. Maybe if Teresa found herself a phrase book, she wouldn't continue saying mixed metaphors like "calm and cool as a whistle." And if you're going to use an ingredient in a cookbook, you should know how to ask for it in the store. (images courtesy of Bravo)