New Jersey 'Housewives' Tend to Their Housekids and Houseboobs
New Jersey 'Housewives' Tend to Their Housekids and Houseboobs
Tonight's episode was primarily about parents taking care of their children . . . boobs can be children too. Sans Dina (but plus a bedazzled hat), Teresa, Caroline, and Jacqueline have decide to press forward. But first, Danielle has to get something off her chest . . . a nasty, hard, infected fake boob. Thank God for DVR, because I would have spent most of the episode vomiting and missing crucial information about Danielle's boobs. The time has come for Danielle to get her fourth breast augmentation. But who's counting?

Parent-daughter conversations are fine (Ashley felt fat and stormed out of the house and we're still talking about it) but is anyone else just waiting for Danielle to do something completely insane (again)? Just move back in and accept a curfew, Ashley, you're boring us.

Elvira, Teresa's party planner, is going to help Teresa go bankrupt with a luxurious housewarming party. She's also going to encourage "old school" Teresa to get live-in help. And a pool.   And a DJ. And nightclub-esque rentals. Elvira has just tied herself into any and all Teresa's Bankruptcy Conspiracy Theories.

Caroline's son, Albie, has been kicked out of law school (because of his learning disability). He was also told that he can never be a lawyer, and he might as well go skim Teresa's new pool. Or something like that. Since she's recently given birth to another mouth to feed, Teresa decides to go hat and cape shopping. Sometimes your hair and need to feel chinchilla against your skin are bigger after you give birth.

But back to Danielle's deformed breast. Let's be clear: this surgery is not for aesthetic reasons. And don't call her crazy. I would love it if Danielle crawled on her hands and knees post-surgery to Teresa's housewarming party. I would like to re-christen the party, "Teresa's Bankruptcy Bash."
Fortunately, even while in recovery, Danielle is causing drama at parties. Her sentinels, Drunk Kim and Kim with Mall Bangs, make sure to play both sides. 

Important Question: will you/did you watch Danielle SING on Watch What Happens Live? It reminded me of when a real person (or "lesbian superstar") sings with a muppet.

Check back tomorrow for signs of the apocalypse (or Teresa's bankruptcy) from tonight's episode!

(image courtesy of Bravo)