Keeping it all in the family, Chris and Albie are starting some generic entrepreneurial group called "New Star Group." Its a buncha yuks. Hey, way to keep it classy with some soft porn on the wall, New Star Group! Speaking of classy, Rich is wearing a white vest for his birthday party. And it wouldn't be a party if Teresa wasn't there to ruin it.
ROSIE! Oh I'm so glad Cousin Rosie is at Rich's party. Caroline likes the vibe and the way the music "envelopes" you. As in put the mail in these envelopes (along with Caroline). Everyone gets happy with the hookah and Joe shows Caroline Melissa's scar from her open-heart surgery when she was seven.
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Lauren is having a big party, too. A grand opening! For the event, Teresa got a giant, bright coat. She wore it when she was with Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem
. Ashley was supposed to do the shirts for this thing but who knows if she came through. She's moving out in a few weeks, and hopefully into her own spin-off series!! (No. No, thank you.)
Lauren has t-shirts, but they were not handled by Ashley, who showed up way late. But hey, Ashley gets a pat on the head for actually drawing something for a purpose.
People you should not take to the grocery store: Milania. She was climbing all over everything, and fell into the veggie platters.
Melissa's record producers are holding her to a higher standard than most Housewives are held to. "On Display" is happening!
Chris and Albie are courting a Canadian water company to be their first clients. This water will take some extra work because it's black. "Hopefully people won't be turned off by the color," the Canadian says. Ughhhh New Star. At least they got their black water on TV!
Teresa is having a book signing, and Joe Gorga doesn't want to go because Joe Giudice pretty much threatened him. "It's so nice of yous and your fake wife to come. Yous is so fake," etc. This leads to a realization: Joe Giudice is the source of all the family problems! Also, he sucks.
With her furriest coat on, Teresa arrives at her book signing. Well, it being her furriest is debatable. After half an hour, the crowd at the book signing thins out. There's no sign of the Gorgas, because Joe scared them off. But then Kathy shows up in an even furrier vest! Good job, Kathy. Seriously, that was a good move.
At the last minute, Joe and Melissa show. Sweetly, Joe buys ten books. Fabulicious. Teresa gets choked up signing Joe's copy. I wish everyone would just get along again! Joe brings up with Other Joe texted him, and it was awkward. But I'm with Joe Gorga, Joe Giudice is an idiot. They swear up and down on their best hats that this is the first book signing invite they'd received. Facebook doesn't count, ok?
Teresa gets home from her book signing, and Joe has had four hours' worth of wine. Gia and her friend show off some of their gymnastics, and Joe shows off some of his. He rolls onto the mat and chips his tooth on the floor. Then it's back to the wine. Awkward. Ahhhh, Joe, shut up! He fights with Teresa in front of all their friends, and badmouths her brother and his family. Aghhhh go to a dentist.
The group of friends try to intervene but Joe has gone off the deep end. "We'll fight to the end of time," Joe declares. I'm calling it now: the RHONJ
Joe Fight is the new Palestinian-Israeli conflict. (images courtesy of Bravo)