The girls are locked and loaded so much so tonight that not even Andy Cohen can look Joanna or Lisa in the eyes. Adriana admits that Miami fashion is all about showing a little extra skin, which all of the ladies are proving true tonight.
The Real Housewives of Miami Season 3 Finale Recap: Get Her to the Church On Time >>>5. Wedding Envy
Joanna admits that she thought Adriana's wedding dress, venue and ceremony were all gorgeous. She just thinks it was rude and selfish of Adriana to treat her guests so poorly, which even Adriana admits is true. But Adriana can't throw any kind of compliment to Joanna about her wedding. The only thing she can say is that Joanna's dress made her look like a flamenco dancer. Which is actually kind of spot-on. 4. Rogue Makeup Artist
In a peak at what's going on behind the scenes, Joanna's makeup artist, Tony, gets all up in Lisa's face backstage. He calls her ugly, a gold digger and tells her to go fix her makeup. When the producers ask Tony to leave, Joanna insists that he stay because he is, after all, her makeup artist. Poor Lisa. Reunion days are long and hard enough as it is, she doesn't need some nobody backstage doing Joanna's dirty work. 3. Receipts
It wouldn't be a reunion if at least one person didn't bring the receipts to support their argument. This time, it's Lea, who has the copies of the checks that she wrote on behalf of Adriana so Adriana's son Alex could stay in school.
The receipts prompt some fire from Adriana, who claims that Lea has never done anyone a favor in her life without throwing it back in their faces. Lea counters, saying she had no other motivation at the time she wrote the check then to help out Adriana and her son, and Adriana in return has been nothing but ungrateful. 2. Maybe He's Gay
When the topic of Romain and Joanna not having sex comes up (again
), Adriana says to Joanna that maybe he doesn't want to have sex with her because he's gay. Of course, Joanna is not pleased with that statement, but Adriana doesn't understand why. And Adriana's defense of her statement is what's best about this back-and-forth:
"There's nothing wrong with being gay! I'm not saying it's bad. It happens every day. Married men come out of the closet!"
Adriana at her finest.1. Why Adriana Isn't Jealous
After the above exchange, Joanna thinks the best way to prove that Romain isn't gay is to call him and put him on speaker phone at the reunion. Adriana continues her sexuality assertions to Romain once he's on the phone, but also continues to assure him there's nothing wrong with being gay.
As housewives often do, Joanna comes to the conclusion that Adriana is only accusing Romain of being gay because she's jealous of Joanna and wants to be with Romain herself. And what's Adriana's reply?
"No, I don't. Why would I want to be with a man with a limp penis?"
Ouch. A classic reunion line, if I've ever heard one.
The Real Housewives of Miami
Reunion Part 2 airs this Thursday at 9pm on Bravo.(Image and videos courtesy of Bravo)