The Top 10 Moments of 'The Real Housewives of Miami' Reunion Part 1
The Top 10 Moments of 'The Real Housewives of Miami' Reunion Part 1
Gina Pusateri
Gina Pusateri
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
What would a season of The Real Housewives be without its reunion show? I'll tell you: it would be like pizza without cheese or, in housewife speak, a cleanse without cayenne pepper. But we never have to worry about living in that kind of dark world. And tonight is the the reunion cherry on the Real Housewives of Miami season 3 sundae. Here are the top 10 moments from part one of the reunion:

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10. Cleavage

The girls are locked and loaded so much so tonight that not even Andy Cohen can look Joanna or Lisa in the eyes. Adriana admits that Miami fashion is all about showing a little extra skin, which all of the ladies are proving true tonight.

9. Homewrecker

Adriana confronts Joanna with a rumor that had nothing to do with this season when she accuses her of breaking up Yolanda Foster's (of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) marriage by sleeping with her then-husband. Of course, Joanna denies, denies, denies, but Adriana insists on calling her a "homewrecker" for the rest of the reunion.

8. Friendship Break-Up

I don't know if I'd call it a highlight of the reunion, but Joanna and Lisa definitely have a notable blow-up. Lisa wants to know why it bothers Joanna so much that Lisa didn't have a job, since she had been making digs at her for it all season. Joanna insists that it's not from jealousy, that she could have married for money if she wanted to (which I don't doubt).

But things get out of control when Andy reads a tweet from Joanna that said that the reason that Lisa could never get pregnant was because she was always partying. Lisa obviously gets very emotional and upset hearing this, saying that she couldn't believe Joanna would sink so low. All of the other housewives are visibly squirming with discomfort in their seats. Not only that, but Joanna says that that wasn't hitting below-the-belt, but she could if she wanted to. Poor Lisa is left a wreck after that exchange.

7. Sex Proposition

After Andy asks Joanna how her sex life is with her new husband, Joanna admits that they're still working on it. Then she awkwardly propositions Andy to join them in bed after the reunion. Yikes. Awkward.

6. Keeping Things Personal

Speaking of sex propositions, this season has been ripe with TMI sex talk. Alexia is a breath of fresh air, as usual, when she says she doesn't care to talk about her sex life because she likes to keep her personal life personal. Thank god that makes at least one of them.

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5. Wedding Envy

Joanna admits that she thought Adriana's wedding dress, venue and ceremony were all gorgeous. She just thinks it was rude and selfish of Adriana to treat her guests so poorly, which even Adriana admits is true. But Adriana can't throw any kind of compliment to Joanna about her wedding. The only thing she can say is that Joanna's dress made her look like a flamenco dancer. Which is actually kind of spot-on.

4. Rogue Makeup Artist

In a peak at what's going on behind the scenes, Joanna's makeup artist, Tony, gets all up in Lisa's face backstage. He calls her ugly, a gold digger and tells her to go fix her makeup. When the producers ask Tony to leave, Joanna insists that he stay because he is, after all, her makeup artist. Poor Lisa. Reunion days are long and hard enough as it is, she doesn't need some nobody backstage doing Joanna's dirty work.

3. Receipts

It wouldn't be a reunion if at least one person didn't bring the receipts to support their argument. This time, it's Lea, who has the copies of the checks that she wrote on behalf of Adriana so Adriana's son Alex could stay in school.

The receipts prompt some fire from Adriana, who claims that Lea has never done anyone a favor in her life without throwing it back in their faces. Lea counters, saying she had no other motivation at the time she wrote the check then to help out Adriana and her son, and Adriana in return has been nothing but ungrateful.

2. Maybe He's Gay

When the topic of Romain and Joanna not having sex comes up (again), Adriana says to Joanna that maybe he doesn't want to have sex with her because he's gay. Of course, Joanna is not pleased with that statement, but Adriana doesn't understand why. And Adriana's defense of her statement is what's best about this back-and-forth:

"There's nothing wrong with being gay! I'm not saying it's bad. It happens every day. Married men come out of the closet!"

Adriana at her finest.

1. Why Adriana Isn't Jealous

After the above exchange, Joanna thinks the best way to prove that Romain isn't gay is to call him and put him on speaker phone at the reunion. Adriana continues her sexuality assertions to Romain once he's on the phone, but also continues to assure him there's nothing wrong with being gay.

As housewives often do, Joanna comes to the conclusion that Adriana is only accusing Romain of being gay because she's jealous of Joanna and wants to be with Romain herself. And what's Adriana's reply?

"No, I don't. Why would I want to be with a man with a limp penis?"

Ouch. A classic reunion line, if I've ever heard one.

The Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Part 2 airs this Thursday at 9pm on Bravo.

(Image and videos courtesy of Bravo)