'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: A Dirty Dinner Party
'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: A Dirty Dinner Party
Gina Pusateri
Gina Pusateri
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
Last week on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Kyle killed a bee and then made fun of her "friend" Lisa with her sister Kim who they said faked a faint to get out of Dancing with the Stars. Kyle is obviously pure monster.

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Brandi's Issues

Brandi's friend Jennifer comes over to talk about Brandi's boy problems and watch her take a bath because that's what best friends are for. Although Brandi has enjoyed having J.R. the handsome realtor around, she says he's a pain in her ass so she wants to break up with him.

So she meets him a bit later for a break-up talk over some calamari and cocktails. What she's really mad about is that J.R. went to Texas with a bunch of couples without inviting her or even telling her about it. She admits that she has trust issues, and while J.R. maintained that the trip was innocent and he wasn't with any other women, Brandi doesn't believe him, so she ends their relationship.

New Wives, New Drama

There hasn't been a single second on the show this season yet when Joyce hasn't been smiling. She takes Ivette, the winner of the pageant that she created, Queen of the Universe, to do some charity work and then get her crown. It reminds her of when she first came to Beverly Hills after she saw Pretty Woman to work as a model and then enter pageants.

Her family seems just as sweet as she is. She has two sons, Leonardo and Valentino, and one takes after her with dark hair and dark eyes and the other has blonde hair and blue eyes like her husband. She says that her family is the most important thing in the world to her and she feels extremely blessed.

Our other new housewife, Carlton, is throwing a dinner party to get to know the other wives better, although she's already seemed to have formed a strong dislike for Kyle and her bee-killing ways.

Feigned Fainting?

Yolanda is sad her oldest daughter, Gigi, is getting ready to leave for college in New York after the summer. She's going to be studying criminal psychology while continuing to model. Yolanda is happy for her daughter because when she was her age she had to model to support her family, while Gigi is going to have the opportunity to go to school and work. But she's already getting sad about her leaving.

Although Lisa is physically exhausted, she manages to perform her tango or whatever on DWTS, but she is also relieved when she's eliminated that week so she can get some rest and then get on with her busy life.

Kim, Kyle, Joyce and Brandi all have a good laugh about Lisa's "faint" in the limo on the way to the party. Brandi says she's never seen anyone faint so pretty before, like a princess.

Yolanda is the first to arrive at Carlton's. She says she was instantly attracted to her as a person because she had very interesting energy.

The ladies from the limo are barely there for five minutes when Kyle starts to irritate Carlton. She asks Carlton if she was raised Catholic because of all of the religious imagery in her house. Carlton thinks it's rude to ask someone you don't know about their religion. Even though her house is a reflection of her religion, albeit her religion is not Catholic.

We learn that Carlton's religion is indeed Wiccan, when Kyle tries to make jokes about asking Carlton if she practices witchcraft. Carlton admits in her confessional (the one where she talks to the camera, not the one in her house) that she does indeed practice witchcraft, but not in the way like Kyle was joking about with casting spells and riding brooms. Carlton says it's more encompassing with mother nature, and that she only practices light magic now that she has kids.

Brandi tells Lisa about their conversation in the limo, and totally throws Kyle under the bus, saying that she was the one who said she fake-fainted. Lisa is sad to learn that her friends don't support her and hopes that Brandi didn't have anything to do with it. 

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Dinner (and Shade) is Served

Kyle takes the seat at the head of the table like the obnoxious attention-seeking brat she is. She then immediately starts drilling Carlton using the guise of "trying to get to know her" about where her husband is from and how they're associated with the Chamber of Commerce.

Yolanda takes a much more relaxed approach at trying to get to know Carlton. She says that she knew as soon as she met her that she had an edge about her that she liked. Brandi agrees, saying that she seemed like a "really nice c-word."

Everyone is shocked for a moment at Brandi's brashness, but Carlton isn't offended. Lisa tries to tell Brandi not to be so vulgar, but Yolanda sticks up for Brandi, saying to Lisa that's just the way she is and she needs to learn to be more of a girlfriend and less of a mother.

Carlton really appreciates Brandi's general inappropriateness, but shudders when Joyce tries to make a dirty joke. She thinks that while Brandi is just being herself when she's being gross, Joyce is trying to fake it to fit in.

Well, Brandi isn't quite done being offensive yet. She asks Kyle about the cheating rumors that are circulating about Mauricio. Kyle maintains the rumors are false, and Lisa even sticks up for her, just telling her to ignore it. But Yolanda says there's no smoke without fire and Brandi says she believed her ex-husband when he told her he wasn't cheating, so Kyle should just be careful.

Kyle is offended that the subject was even brought up at the dinner table. And next week, it looks like she accuses Brandi and the other ladies at the party of bullying her, which is clearly not what happened here. But as we know, Kyle can be a bit delusional at times.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Mondays at 8pm on Bravo.

(Image courtesy of Bravo)