Tweens, take heart. If you're grieving the loss of The Hills (and Spencer Pratt's mouth breathing), wipe off your mascara-stained cheeks and take a look at the latest couples itching for the reality TV limelight.  

In no order of preference (because I'm not particularly rooting for any of these people), we have Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston. Perez Hilton reports that the show will center around--surprise!--young parenting. Levi's bodyguard, Tank (a name best reserved for jowly pitbulls and red-cheeked congressman) is quoted as saying the show will be a "docudrama or something similar." Whoooa. Hold on there, Tank. This show may be a lot of things, but let's reserve the "docu-" part for National Geo and not Bristol Palin's baby daddy. Let's all agree on what this impending reality show is really about: baby poop. Literally and figuratively.

And then there's Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne. Because Bromance and The Hills wasn't indigestion-inducing enough, Brody is pitching a new show to the chagrin of his hoodie wearing Sk8er grrrl (apparently Avril is less-than-thrilled at the prospect of a show chronicling their relationship. If producers decide to pick it up, I imagine she'll probably write a sad song about it and pair it with pink hair streaks.) Or maybe Kim Kardashian will pep up her step with some girl time and friendly pillow fights. Either way, I really wish Brody would take a cue from Amanda Bynes and announce his retirement already.


As much as I enjoy wasting precious hours of my life watching people fight and cry for money, I'm not really sure I'll be watching either of these shows. I'd sooner settle for a seat in my local food court watching the pierced patrons of Hot Topic while I enjoy a tasty pretzel.

And because I like polls, I'm going to give you one.

(Images courtesy of WENN)