season 13 premiere is almost here, and 31 men are ready to show star Rachel Lindsay that they are the men of her dreams. You know, if Rachel's dreams included sand castles, penguins and a ventriloquist dummy.
Yes, once again the suitors of The Bachelorette
have outdone themselves in creating cheesy, insane and occasionally memorable ways of introducing themselves to Rachel. Photos from the big night make that all too clear.
Overall the suitors are a pleasant-looking lot, as big and beefy as any standard group of men vying for the heart of a Bachelorette. They do -- in keeping with the racial-diversity themes needed for a season with the first African-American star -- show a little more variety when it comes to appearance, but there is still a definite "hotness" theme going on.
Judging by her smiles throughout the night, Rachel is quite pleased with her stable of eligible men.
Many of those men seem to be charming gentlemen, greeting their new girlfriend with smiles, hugs and rugged charm.
While it is hard to pick out a winner from this group, you do have to give points to the one guy who is clearly going for Clark Kent in his appearance.
ABC insists that this is someone named Robert, but of course Superman would be hiding his identity this early in the competition.
And then there's this dummy.
Yes, one of the suitors, Adam, thought it would be a smart idea to bring a ventriloquist's dummy along for the night. This is clearly a man who has never, ever seen a horror movie. The dummy, by the way, seems to have lasted through the cocktail party.The Men of The Bachelorette Season 13 Reveal Weird Sex Stories>>>
Moving on from this mild nightmare, there is one fellow, Lucas, who is clearly an introvert.
Lucas even arrived with a bullhorn, something he used repeatedly throughout the night. That bit of noise-making, combined with Lucas' choice of a t-shirt for formal attire, makes it clear that this is the sort of man who will be noticed.
Can this brashness impress Rachel though?
If brash doesn't work, how about brass? Suitor Blake (that would be Blake E., to be precise -- there are two Blakes this season) brought along an entire brass band for his introduction. A girl does like a man in uniform ...
Speaking of uniforms, Bryce wore one when he arrived to sweep Lindsay off her feet.
He literally swept. Then he swept the girl off her feet.
If you are going for a metaphorical entrance, this one might win -- I mean, it's a double
metaphor! Rachel seems to have gone for the sweeping as well, based on the warm embrace captured later in the evening.Bachelor Stars Ben Higgins and Lauren Bushnell Announce Split>>>
One of the odder entrances of the night came from Brady, a guy who arrived carrying a sledgehammer and a block of ice.
This may have been a literal way to "break the ice." Whatever it was, Rachel seemed to be having a lot of fun in the process.
Fun is good. Less fun was had from Alex, who seemed to arrive with a small vacuum cleaner. That might be a metaphor for ... something?
Less metaphorical but more standard is Lee, the requisite guy with a guitar.
There was an ambulance too. The photos did not reveal whom exactly was introduced in that dramatic fashion.
One suitor, Dean, did not seem to have a particularly remarkable entrance, but he did have a bit of childish fun with Rachel later on in the evening.
Sandcastles! Not a standard route to a grown woman's heart, but it might just do the trick on The Bachelorette
Last but not least, there was a penguin. Not an actual penguin, which would have been an awesome addition to The Bachelorette
(who doesn't like penguins?), but a man in a penguin suit. We are not talking about a tuxedo here.
Matthew seems to have been inspired by The Bachelor
shark costume. Whatever the case, the silliness did lead to a feeding later in the evening.
But did it lead to a rose? Did any of these shenanigans manage to win over Rachel's heart or were some of the more serious suitors the ones chosen to receive her affection?
The answers will be revealed when The Bachelorette
season 13 premieres on Monday, May 22 at 9/8c on ABC. Want more news? Like our Bachelorette Facebook page! (Images courtesy of ABC)