During Monday night's edition of The Bachelorette,
confirmed bachelor Ken (of "Ken and Barbie" fame) popped in during commercial breaks to drop some leopard-printed, ascot-donning knowledge bombs on us about love and dating. Because that's why we all watch The Bachelorette
Below, check out his romance tips for the Bachelorette
contestants (and all hopeful bachelors everywhere).
After the videos, I share my own helpful pointers for the guys. Because they need all the help they can get, apparently.
As useful as dating tips from a lifeless plastic doll with no genitals are, I've got some of my own for this season's Bachelorette boys.
Meghan's Dating Tips for Today's Bachelor:
Have your own dating tips for Today's Bachelor? Sock 'em to me.
- Don't cry in front of the girl. (And the producers. And the camera crew. And America.)
- Don't cry in front of the other guys. (And the producers. And the camera crew. And America.)
- Don't cry in the hot tub.
- Don't CRY, period.
- Don't try to get out of kissing the girl. You don't look noble. You look like a sissy.
- Don't wear a Canadian tuxedo to a cocktail party.
- Don't complain to the girl about your "fragile hands."
- Don't creepily walk several miles to see the girl when you weren't invited.
- And if you do insist on being creepy, don't lie about it to the other guys. These things always come out
on The Bachelorette. ALWAYS.
- Don't go on The Bachelorette and then get jealous when other guys are making out with your "girlfriend," because that's the premise of the show, and you should have done your homework.
- Don't go on The Bachelorette with your hopes up that you'll get anything besides some free beer and a decent tan out of the experience.
- Don't... Just don't go on The Bachelorette.