During
Monday night's edition of The Bachelorette, confirmed bachelor Ken (of "Ken and Barbie" fame) popped in during commercial breaks to drop some leopard-printed, ascot-donning knowledge bombs on us about love and dating. Because that's why we all watch
The Bachelorette--to LEARN!
Below, check out his romance tips for the
Bachelorette contestants (and all hopeful bachelors everywhere).
After the videos, I share my own helpful pointers for the guys. Because they need all the help they can get, apparently.
As useful as dating tips from a lifeless plastic doll with no genitals are, I've got some of my own for this season's Bachelorette boys.
Meghan's Dating Tips for Today's Bachelor:- Don't cry in front of the girl. (And the producers. And the camera crew. And America.)
- Don't cry in front of the other guys. (And the producers. And the camera crew. And America.)
- Don't cry in the hot tub.
- Don't CRY, period.
- Don't try to get out of kissing the girl. You don't look noble. You look like a sissy.
- Don't wear a Canadian tuxedo to a cocktail party.
- Don't complain to the girl about your "fragile hands."
- Don't creepily walk several miles to see the girl when you weren't invited.
- And if you do insist on being creepy, don't lie about it to the other guys. These things always come out
on The Bachelorette. ALWAYS.
- Don't go on The Bachelorette and then get jealous when other guys are making out with your "girlfriend," because that's the premise of the show, and you should have done your homework.
- Don't go on The Bachelorette with your hopes up that you'll get anything besides some free beer and a decent tan out of the experience.
- Don't... Just don't go on The Bachelorette.
Have your own dating tips for Today's Bachelor? Sock 'em to me.