If you've read even one article by me about this season of The Bachelorette (thank you!), you know about my distaste for a certain guy named Frank. All valid, qualifying arguments about the misleading nature of reality television editing and the inherent artificiality that cause otherwise good people into acting in unnatural, unflattering ways aside ... I. Do. Not. Like. Him. And, as part of my job as a television writer, it is my duty to judge, analyze and then tell you, in all my uniquely ridiculous and hyberbolic ways, how much I do not like him. I feel that I have done that. Mission accomplished. And then some.

That said, I know some of you like Frank. And I respect your opinion, because when it comes down to it, this is still a silly reality television show. About people we don't know. Who are collectively chasing a fantasy that we all know probably won't work out. In ways that in no shape or form resemble genuine human existence. So go ahead and like Frank as much as you want. Like him so much that you love him and marry him and have all the babies with him. In your mind. Because subjectivity, and ambiguity, and most of all, who cares. Right?

Well, it's confession time: I still care, despite, and maybe even because of, my ardent attempts to not care. Consistent blogging: It makes you care about stuff! (Good slogan work, Meghan.) Anyway, all this serves to explain the complex, potent blend of emotions that comes over me as I watch the sneak preview of next week's Bachelorette episode, which you can see below.

Disdain. Anger. Anxiety. Boredom. Satisfaction. Hunger. Purple. All these emotions I feel about Frank's wishy-washy ways. But most of all: Vindication. Not because I now think Frank is some terrible, evil person. (I can find him arrogant and obnoxious and deluded and blow-hard-y and still think he's not an inherently bad person. Like Shrek said, "Onions, layers, and so forth.") But because I said he was "shifty" from the start, and if this clip doesn't illustrate a dramatic SHIFT in the trajectory of this season of The Bachelorette, I don't know what does:


I think we all know what comes next. In case you need a refresher, this is what comes next. In face-form:

Who cares? ALI CARES.

And we care. Which is why we will wait with bated breath until this whole scenario plays out on The Bachelorette next Monday, and we get just another glimpse at the layer-full, stinking, tear-inducing onion that is Frank.