Ali's New Man, Vienna for 'Playboy' and More 'Bachelor' Rumors You Pretend to Not Care About
Meghan Carlson
Meghan Carlson
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
All the Bachelor and Bachelorette news that's fit to print, but unfit for individual consumption:

Watch out, Canada! Justin "Rated R" Rego wants to be a cop. "In the next year or so I'm actually looking to be a police officer," he told ET Canada. "I'm slowly studying it ... that's something I truly am passionate about and I definitely want to get into." What words would you use to describe a great police officer? Honor, integrity, courage, respect, commitment ... yeah, you better be studying up, Justin. Also seemingly forgetting those damning romantic voice mails that ABC played as he exited the show, Justin told ET that un-girlfriend Jessica was just "somebody that I always wanted in my life cause she's a great person." Guess that's why they were making out in public last week.

People Who Don't Know Jake Say He Has "Gay Tendencies": A few people who have the same amount of authority on the subject (none) tell Radar Online that Jake Pavelka "has gay potential and definitely gay tendencies." Paul Rosseau and Richard Mathey, whom no one remembers from The Bachelorette seasons 4 and 6 respectively, and an anonymous contestant from The Bachelor season 12 (Oooh! Relax, lady, we probably wouldn't remember you either) all concur that if Jake isn't gay, he definitely acts and dresses and refuses to have sex with women like a gay man. Case closed.

Ali Has a New Non-Boyfriend Boyfriend, Maybe: InTouch Weekly is reporting that after leaving The Bachelorette man-less and ring-less, Ali ran back into the arms of Patrick Hammon, whom their sources insist she hooked up with before and after filming the show. But Patrick insists, "We are absolutely not dating, we are just friends." So, the question is: Do we care?

Vienna Calls Jake a "Fame Whore," Will Pose for Playboy, Fails to Understand Concepts of Irony or Hypocrisy: That pretty much sums it up. Except that a friend told RadarOnline that Vienna also said, "I just want to be left alone so I can get back to normal life. I start a regular 9-5 job in marketing Monday, and I am looking forward to it." Well, yes, of course, because you're doing such a bang-up job of marketing yourself, which brings us to ...

Vienna's Face Buried in Some Guy's Crotch During Spring Break "WHOOOO!": Vienna Girardi, keeping it classy since ... well, not since March 2009. And probably not before that, either.

(Image: WENN)