After a trifecta of near catastrophic mistakes in the season 23 premiere of The Amazing Race
, I was a bit worried the teams had used up all or at least most of the stupid in their arsenal. Instead, the 10 remaining teams banded together to thrice again walk the dubious line between running a competent race and filling out C for every answer on the Scantron.
I wasn't planning on using the same misnamed medal scale as last week, but I'm going to wear it out harder than the Afghanimals' ululation as long as it's appropriate. And it's an apt comparison, since good old Leo and Jamal win this week's Bronzer Medal.
They didn't give their cab driver enough money, and Phil sent them back to settle the tab, costing them first place and a pretty awesome vacation package to Turks and Caicos.
They could have cozied up on a beach with a nice cocktail and their race wives, LA Kings Ice Team skaters Ally and Ashley. The real question is if the lovely ladies would even be interested in hanging with the boys post-race.
There's probably a better chance of that happening if Timothy and Reebs (Marie) also join the vaca, since both teams love talking about how much they despise the bickering ex-couple.
Then just for good measure, Leo and Jamal screamed at each other over the mistake. Keep it classy, guys.
The Sliver Award goes to our other set of hotty hot hot hots, baseball wives Nicky and Kim. They're like the grown-up versions of Ally and Ashley, but with husbands who are rich enough that they probably spend most of their time pursuing humanitarian efforts. During the shoe shine challenge, Nicky forgot to bring the mat with her to the Chilean shoe-shine headquarters. She had to go all the way back and grab it, but of course she tried to schmooze the Express Pass from Reebs on the way.
This could've been a devastating mistake, if Rowan and Shane hadn't made the entire leg a huge devastating mistake. Yes, it's the Bingo Boys calling out their own numbers in taking down the second Uey of the season. Let's break it down, in no particular order.
B -- Bus strategy. Rowan and Shane took what they thought was an educated risk that would give them a two-hour head start on the other teams. Unfortunately, they didn't find out until immediately after the bus left that the ticket agents were confused over the difference between arriving and departing. That meant getting to Santiago several hours after the other teams, made worse by the fact that they sneakily tried to fake out their competition. This one was basically their fatal mistake, but they tried really hard for another.
I -- Incorrect shoe shine stand. Instead of using a designated shoe shine stand, Rowan kicked a real-life shoe shiner off his post, then made him pack up and carry all his stuff to the end location. The dude was like, what the hell am I doing here, and why are there cameras? I've got shoes to shine and spare change to earn! So Rowan had to go back the six blocks, shine another pair of shoes and pack up another stand. Cause, you know, he had the luxury of time...
N -- "No talking! You're using my air!" That was Rowan's message for Shane as they struggled to ride their bikes to the salt mines after they...
G -- Got lost on the way. Their cab driver had no idea where he was going, so they had to stop for directions and were the last team to arrive for the brining vs. mining challenge. They did leapfrog one team there, but they would fix that with the bus thing.
O -- On one knee. This was basically the low point for poor Rowan. After arriving at the shoe shine destination and realizing he had the wrong setup, he dropped to one knee and begged for the shoe shiner's help. He begged for his heart, his life, for his mother and his father. It was pretty uncomfortable to watch, especially because Reebs was in the background screaming "No" over and over again. So Rowan called her the devil. Bingo!
For the second straight week, the U-Turn Award goes to the team that was eliminated. But, hey, you can't have great success without great failure. Which is mostly something people say after they fail.
The Amazing Race airs Sundays at 8pm on CBS.
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