So, they season the pigs, then put them on a pole and carry them down the beach a few hundred yards to a luau, where they then have to get the pig ready for roasting. Margie and Luke appear to be a few minutes behind the other teams at this point. We get a shameless butt shot while Jaime and Cara carry their pig. Margie and Luke catch up, the other two teams struggling with the weight of their pig. I don't think their pigs are going to taste good. They're all really sandy now, due to the constant dropping. Margie and Luke are the first to arrive at the luau. Jaime is remarkably pissed off at Cara, and verbally berates her, and spouts the line from the episode's title.
(Semi-random corollary: A friend of mine had the genius idea of buying
a full pig for a party we had last Cinco De Mayo. He MacGyvered a spit
using parts from an old bicycle and a treadmill he found on
Craigslist. He roasted the mother-effer for about eight hours, and it
ended up being the most disgusting thing any of us had ever eaten.
Multiple people vomited. The lesson: while purchasing a full pig with
the intentions of feasting upon it may seem like a delicious and
wonderful idea, it is not. Don't buy a pig.)
Tammy struggles too, but they arrive at the party before the
cheerleaders. Margie and Luke finish, get their next clue. They head
to McGregor Point, and have to drive a Jet Ski a few hundred yards and
then search amid a crapload of buoys for their next clue. Tammy and
Victor finish their pig burying next, followed quickly by a bickering
Jaime and Cara. At The Point, teams have to swim out to their Jet
Skis, which should prove difficult for Tammy (and would have been death
for Kisha and Jen). When I see Jet Skis nowadays, all I can think of
is Kenny Powers and topless tramps. Luke tips the Jet Ski, which makes
me chuckle. The two trailing teams arrive at the Jet Skis at roughly
same time.
Margie and Luke find the clue very fast, and now the other teams are
searching. Next clue - teams have to find Maui Surfboard Fence. Jaime and Cara find their clue before
Tammy and Victor, and book out of there. The siblings find theirs soon
after.
Margie and Luke find the Surfboard Fence, and it's a...
Road Block:
One member of each team has search through a big pile of
surfboards that have pictures of things that happened over the course
of the race. After they find 11 pictures that coincide with the legs
of the race, they have to erect a surfboard fence in the order the legs occurred. There are a number of false pictures on surfboards to
complicate things.
Luke does the Road Block for his team, and seems to be doing really
well. Jaime and Cara's cabbie has no idea where he's going, and takes them
to a surfboard shop instead. Sucks to be screwed by a bad cabbie on
the final leg. Really sucks. Tammy and Victor are stuck in some
traffic. Meanwhile, Luke is pretty much dominating the road block.
Jaime and Cara's cabbie can't even get help - his bitchy boss says that
she's not their personal concierge and can't spend her precious time
looking up where that place is. (I'm going to see how long it takes me
on Google to find the address right now...took me less
than 10 seconds. MauiSurfboardFence.com. Screw you, ornery taxi cab
boss.)
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