'Teen Wolf' Recap: The Virgin Homicides
'Teen Wolf' Recap: The Virgin Homicides
Morgan Glennon
Morgan Glennon
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
This week on Teen Wolf, the hunt is on for Boyd and Cora before they kill all the children, English teachers and lesbian couples in Beacon Hills. 

Meanwhile, Lydia once again wanders unknowingly into a giant pool of blood and death, while Allison finally completes her transformation into Hawkeye. And Stiles discovers someone is out there sacrificing virgins. That's way harsh Tai.

I guess the obvious solution is orgy, right? I mean, there is a lot of shirtlessness in Beacon Hills. It had to be leading somewhere. 

Out of all our characters, I think the only virgin we have to worry about is Stiles, right? Maybe Isaac? Actually, definitely Isaac -- that would be just his luck. Although, for the first time this season, Isaac doesn't end up tortured in some way, although his weird hipster scarf is torture for my eyes. 

Non-Stop Action

This week, Teen Wolf shoots right out of the barrel and never slows down. The episode is a combination of creepy horror imagery and nonstop action. So far, this season has hit the ground running and never looked back, but I'm hoping the narrative momentum does pause at least a little bit to let us get our bearings with where the characters are at emotionally. Both Derek and Allison had really emotional, no good, very bad days. 

I'll be interested to see how this affects their characters moving forward into the rest of the season. The episode only takes a small beat to see these two deal with their big, emotional bombshells when it flashes back to Derek carrying Erica's lifeless body as Scott tells Allison her mom was trying to kill him. 

The scene itself is maybe a minute, but the reverberations for both characters actually drive a lot of the action tonight. Feeling guilty and upset, Derek makes the choice to go into the boiler room solo to become Boyd and Cora's hunky scratching post. It's a decision driven by guilt and a sense of responsibility, and one that might have gotten him killed.

Meanwhile, Allison goes full Argent, getting her Katniss Everdeen on when she tracks the runaway werewolves even better than her dear old dad. I'm glad Allison has continued her trend of dealing with difficult emotions by shooting at things. 

Plus, Scott's character development from angsty teenager to heroic leader continues this week. It's Scott, and not the traumatized Derek, who is really leading the hunt for Boyd and Cora. It's Scott who refuses to hurt the werewolves while saving others, and it's Scott who decides it's time to call in the big guns. 

The big guns in this case belong to Papa Argent, who is enjoying the domestic life of a dude who no longer tries to run over teenagers. Seeing Papa Argent as a normal person who goes grocery shopping is maybe the most disturbing part of the episode. But don't worry, because soon he's pulling a gun on Scott and pointing it at him much longer than is probably necessary. 

Doesn't anyone else in the parking lot notice this? Or is this just a thing Papa Argent does all the time? I could totally see that. "Oh, I just saw Mr. Argent pointing a gun at someone again. Did we bag his groceries wrong?" Considering the Argent Weapons Emporium that is their home, it seems reasonable that Papa Argent would have a gun for every occasion. 

This week, Scott is really stepping up his heroism, which is fun to see. He saves several innocent people, comes up with the idea to lead Boyd and Cora to the school and knows just what buttons to push to get Argent to help him.

Speaking of Argent's help, it's really fun to see all the werewolf hunting techniques. My favorite is the high frequency tools which drive Boyd and Cora into the high school. They might have gotten the job done, but they look just like solar garden lights. Which makes it even funnier when the group is dramatically throwing them into the ground. 

That's how I'm going to decorate my garden from now on. I'll do a somersault off a lawn chair and shove down my solar light in slow-mo right next to my petunias. Take that, home decor! 

Tomorrow, people in Beacon Hills are going to find a lot of lovely lights all over the place. Good for giving your garden that little pop of color, and for warding off werewolves hungry for your blood! They should sell those in the Beacon Hills Home Depot. (Or, since this is Teen Wolf, Macy's, I suppose. Maybe they're part of the Martha Stewart Collection?) 

But it looks like Beacon Hills could use all the help it can get. This new supernatural force on the prowl certainly means nothing good, especially for the more sexually modest members of the town.  

Plus, the Alpha pack is really doing the hard-sell when it comes to recruiting Derek. Way harsh hazing ritual, bro! Whatever happened to streaking? Derek would be good at that; he almost never has on clothes anyway.

You're Just A Virgin That Can't Drive

Speaking of supernatural creatures that are way harsh, the newest baddy in Beacon Hills seems to be targeting virgins for sacrifice. Once again succumbing to a case of the "midnight crazies," Lydia finds herself discovering the bloody body of a lifeguard wearing a purity ring. 

Stiles is insulted that he wasn't Lydia's first call, and at first they just assume the dead body was the work of Boyd and Cora. But soon Stiles notices his friend Heather in the morgue and starts putting the pieces together. This is especially true when he talks to a young girl whose girlfriend, Emily, hallucinated a bunch of creepy bugs and then went running off into the woods. 

The hallucination aspect is interesting, since Heather also imagined all the wine bottles attacking her. What's up with that? 

I have to take a second and say how much I appreciate Teen Wolf's handling of sexuality on the show. All different sexual orientations are completely normalized and treated just the same as heterosexual relationships. It's something the show shares in common with Pretty Little Liars (that and a town where everyone should probably move) and it's much appreciated. 

Here's what we know: each victim was strangled, had their throats slit and their heads bashed in. Stiles refers to it as the three-fold death. They also hallucinate right before they're attacked. And somehow, I have a feeling this ties into the new glowing fireflies visiting Beacon Hills. 

Will this turn out to be an even bigger threat than the Alpha pack? And will we finally find out this season exactly what is up with Lydia? 

The Shirtlessness Slow-Mo Count

Usually, every week I count the number of shirtless hunks we see, since Teen Wolf isn't exactly shy about showing us the pectorals. But with all the action happening this week, there just isn't time for more than a few torn shirts. 

Instead, this week's episode is incredibly obsessed with the slow-mo effect, like someone in the editing room had just watched The Matrix for the first time. "Did you know slowing down the action makes staking in a lawn ornament look dramatic?" "Really? Damn, let's just use that everywhere!" 

In fact, this episode of Teen Wolf is practically brought to you by slow-mo. Slow-mo! For when you need things to look cooler but don't have the budget for explosions.

And so, instead of counting abs, we'll be counting how much time we spend in bullet-time this episode.

Slow-Mo Count: The gang fights Boyd and Cora in slow-mo. The gang dramatically walks into frame in slow-mo with Argent. Everyone dramatically stakes in lawn ornaments in slow-mo including throwing it through the air, throwing them out of cars and staking them into the ground. Derek fights Cora and Boyd in the boiler room in slow-mo. Cora and Boyd turn Derek into a giant werewolf scratch post in slow-mo. 

The Freeze Frame Award: A lot of good contenders tonight, but special props to Scott jumping off a bus, somersaulting through the air and staking the sonic device into the ground.  What a drama queen. 

Elsewhere in Beacon Hills...

-- Lydia and Stiles have a cute scene together, but Lydia still has no earthly idea what is going on with her and neither does the audience. 

-- Allison would totally win the Hunger Games.

-- Great job by Dylan O'Brien in the scene where he sees Heather's body. 

-- What teacher stays in school past the last bell anyway? At least the bright side to nearly dying and overtime is that Derek saves her with his ripped shirt and halo of heavenly light, looking like the cover of a Harlequin romance novel. 

-- Isaac is already crushing on Cora. Which makes sense since his only interaction with her involves her trying to rip his throat out. Isaac has a weird type. Derek shoots him down pretty quickly, though.

-- Scott's mom is becoming just as useful as Scott himself, showing Stiles the multiple bodies in the morgue. But is Stiles' father also starting to realize the things that go bump in the Beacon Hills night? 

What did you think of this week's episode of Teen Wolf? What's up with the fireflies? Did you like the non-stop action this week? What is going on with Lydia? Sound off in the comments! 

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(Image courtesy of MTV)