Survivor: Tocantins - Episode 13 "The Martyr Approach" Recap (Page 1/2)
Is this the night that Coach Benjamin Wade finally (finally!) goes home?  It has to be, right?  Barring an immunity challenge victory, the writing is on the wall, unless Erinn masterminds some crazy blindside, or Taj turns on her Jalapao boys.  But, you know, that is not going to happen.  Survivor: Tocantins brings us its penultimate episode tonight, and what follows is a recap of the episode's events.  Please enjoy.

Coming back from the tribal that snuffed Debbie's flame, Coach makes it clear that he is surprised.  J.T. and Stephen tell Coach that the person who voted for him was indeed Debbie.  This is smart - it keeps Coach from getting angry, and makes it seem like J.T. and Stephen came to his rescue.  I guess they kind of did, but not in the way Coach is taking it.  Coach, to his credit, admits that he's not in control of the game, and just wants to know when he's going home.  Surprising humility from The Dragon Slayer.  

The next morning, Coach sucks up to J.T. and Stephen, thanks them for saving him and wonders who they should send to Exile.  Coach says that he feels like his lungs are all messed up - he doesn't want to go to Exile.  Coach whines - his asthma is acting up, his back hurts.  It's interesting that Coach is bringing up Exile at this point.  Stephen laughs Coach's nonsense off, he thinks Coach is full of crap and that they plan on sending him to Exile.  J.T. backs it up, thinks that Coach is scared to go to Exile alone, because they're not sure if he can actually survivor there.

Reward Challenge:

It's a gigantic Survivor maze (in the shape of the word "Survivor").  After they get through the maze, they have to erect a pole long enough to retrieve a pouch.  Once they get the pouch, they have to swing it on a rope and knock down three different poles.  Oh, and they must complete the whole challenge with their legs shackled together.  Winner of the challenge is taken on an overnight reward to the Governor's Retreat.  They get a bed, a shower and a feast.  

Everyone follows J.T., Taj and Stephen lagging behind.  So, it's J.T.,and Coach fighting each other at the pole construction.  The other three are a ways behind.  J.T. moves out to a fairly substantial lead, and wins going away.  J.T. sends Coach to Exile. "I'm going to take the Monastic approach," Coach says, meaning he's not going to eat or build a fire. Erinn replies, saying "He's going to take the Martyr approach."  Erinn really takes it to Coach.  Coach is obviously defensive, and complains about all of his bodily failures.  Then, Coach quotes Pat Benetar.  Of course he does.

J.T. takes Stephen on the reward with him, and later expresses his amusement with Erinn's big mouth, saying it will hurt her in the game.  We'll see, J.T.  I like that feistiness.  

Taj and Erinn come back to camp, and brutally wish Coach the most awful time at Exile.  Erinn tells Taj that she feels guilty about what she said over at the Reward Challenge.  Taj tells her not to worry about it.  For some reason, we keep cutting back to a frog in the water in the middle of this conversation.  We have an editor on ADD.  Erinn's main goal is to make it further than Coach.

Coach walks solemnly up to Exile while the musical score from Braveheart plays in the background (or something like that).  Coach tries to play it off like Exile will be a vacation.  He spouts a bunch of random adjectives to the camera.  He pledges to not eat anything.  It's like a vision quest.  He prays to someone in front of the camera.  It's unreal, this guy.  

"Dragon Slayer makes his Dragon Cane," he says as he whittles himself a cane out of a big log.  You can't make this stuff up.  Is Coach the most absurd personality Survivor has ever seen?  Can we cast Coach on every reality show from now on?  Can you imagine him on Big Brother?  Or The Bachelorette?  

J.T. and Stephen take a private plane to the mansion, where they thoroughly enjoy themselves.  They look at themselves in the mirror and are surprised at what they see.  They need showers.  Too bad it's just two dudes - we don't get any of the shameless "hot girls in the shower" shots.  The feast is a BBQ, and it looks quite appetizing.