'Survivor' Recap: How to Suck Up to People You Hate
 'Survivor' Recap: How to Suck Up to People You Hate
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
The strong six-person alliance of Zapatera on Survivor: Redemption Island has successfully voted out Russell and one of his girls, Krista. That leaves Stephanie as the odd woman out, but this week Stephanie tries her hardest to suck up to people she hates in order to stay. Does it work? Well, does the Pope poop in the woods?

Battle of the Bible Blondes

On Redemption Island we learn that there's one power Krista believes in more than Russell Hantz: the Lord. That's right, she and Matt bond over their mutual love of the Bible before using grappling hooks to collect bags with balls and using a ball to solve a table maze in the duel. Krista gets off to a big lead collecting all her bags right away, but as usual, Matt Elrod is blessed and permanently eliminates another competitor.

Before Krista leaves, she gives Matt her luxury item, a Bible. Right now Matt is such a huge threat that the only way he'll win Survivor: Redemption Island is with some divine intervention.

Miss Uncongeniality

On Ometepe, Phillip cracks (although, to be fair, he's no crazier than usual) and starts complaining about how the Beauty Queens, Ashley and Natalie, don't do any work at the camp. While Phillip calls them "beauty queens" as an insult, they take it as a compliment. They all need to sit down and watch the Sandra Bullock movie Miss Congeniality to learn that beauty queens and special agents can all get along. Boston Rob steps in to play "Yasser Arafat" and negotiate peace between his tribe. I'm not sure that's the best example.

Immunity Challenge

The challenge involves the castaways trying to catch balls launched by a catapult. Ometepe dominates the game and sweeps it, thanks to a strong connection between the launcher Natalie and the catcher, Grant, who get four of the five balls. I guess Natalie isn't so useless after all.

Stealth 'R' Us

For a reward, Ometepe gets a picnic where Boston Rob sees the immunity idol clue and continues to play out his little game, pretending that he hasn't already found out. We also find out that Phillip's delusions are grander than I ever could've imagined, since he believes he's in an alliance with Boston Rob and Grant called Stealth 'R' Us, where Phillip is the "specialist," Boston Rob is the "mentalist" and Grant is the "assassin." First of all, everyone knows that Simon Baker is The Mentalist, not Boston Rob. Second, if an alliance only exists in Phillip's wacky head, does it really count?

When Phillip sees that Boston Rob and Grant tried to hide the clue from him, he offers a tragically brilliant misquotation: "Hell hath no fury like a lion and a gorilla when he thinks he's been provoked." He also reveals that he was a special agent for four years, 11 months and 13 days, which I'm guessing is a time in our nation's history the government would like to forget.

Tribal Council

On Zapatera, it's clearly six against one, but David sees promise in Stephanie and encourages her to try and stay, which forces her to suck up to all the people she hates. Luckily, everyone is sick and tired of Sarita, which gives Stephanie the opening she needs.

David does his best to champion Stephanie as the team's best bet for winning, but the others aren't so willing to put any faith or trust in one of Russell's former acolytes.

At the actual tribal council, Stephanie slings her best mud at Sarita, claiming that Sarita sat out during the immunity challenge because she knew she was bad at physical challenges. David backs up Stephanie's play, but no one else is buying it.

Stephanie is voted out 5-2.

I suppose she can count it as a moral victory since Stephanie did get one person on her side, but that's not enough to survive. I guess she still needs lessons on sucking up to people she hates.

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(Image courtesy of CBS)

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