'Survivor Nicaragua' Recap: Quitters Never Win
'Survivor Nicaragua' Recap: Quitters Never Win
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
This is the 21st season of Survivor, meaning the current castaways have seen 20 other groups of people go through horrible living conditions. So you'd think that, by now, if you're still willing to come on Survivor, you could live with a little rain.

You'd be wrong, because Survivor: Nicaragua had not one but two people quit the game this week.

DISCUSS: Who had a better reason for quitting Survivor?

Screw You Guys, I'm Going Home

After the reward challenge that NaOnka's team one, she revealed she's quitting, even though she says she's not a quitter. Unless you're name is Sarah Palin, that logic doesn't make any sense.

That's bad enough, especially since the episode started with her in a solid final four alliance with Chase, Holly and Jane. But then Jeff Probst offered the camp a new tarp and rice if someone from the winning team would stay behind.

In theory, since NaOnka was already quitting, you'd think she would do one final act of human decency and stay behind. But she didn't and Holly did. At this point, at the very least, NaOnka should feel ashamed of her selfishness, but she doesn't. She watches the movie, eats the candy and proves that she's the most selfish, terrible person to ever play Survivor.

"There's Nothing Left to Suck"

Right after NaOnka announced she was quitting, Purple Kelly revealed she wanted to quit to. After the reward challenge Holly tries to get Purple Kelly to reconsider quitting. I respect Holly's dedication to gamesmanship, but talking someone into staying is not the best strategy. Purple Kelly is cold, but Holly just got her a tarp. Purple Kelly is hungry, but Holly just got her rice. Basically, Holly tells Purple Kelly to suck it up, but the response she gets is officially the best quote of the season, possibly of the year, from any show.

"From the mom's point-of-view she says 'Suck it up, you only have a few more days.' But it's like, I've been sucking it up for 28 days. I have nothing left to suck."

Congratulations, Purple Kelly, I hope you enjoy being mocked for the rest of your life as the girl who said "I have nothing left to suck" no national TV. Maybe Miss Teen South Carolina can give you pointers on how to deal with the embarrassment.

Tribal Council

At this point Probst doesn't even try to hide his contempt for the quitters. He spends the whole time trying to convince them to stay, but his words have no effect. NaOnka and Purple Kelly quit the game. Jeff snuffs there torches (or smuffs them, according to NaOnka) and just tells them to get out.

The hardest part is watching Marty, Alina and Brenda. Here are three people who fought hard and had the desire to go all the way. To watch two people quit is a slap in their faces and Marty calls it "disgusting."

You're right, Marty. It is disgusting. NaOnka is disgusting. And this whole episode was disgusting. Now I need to go take seven showers to get the stink of NaOnka's awful behavior off of me.