If today's headlines are any indication, tonight's two-hour live finale is bound to be entertaining. In addition to several special guest performances--including a dance routine from Stephen "tWitch" Boss and Ellen DeGeneres--there will be musical performances, judge highlights from the past season, and probably lots of crying and confetti. At the end of this crazy circus, Cat Deeley will reveal "America's Favorite Dancer." God, I hope it's Lauren Froderman. But then again, to echo Nigel Lythgoe, I'd be happy to see any one of these dancers win tonight because they all excel in completely different areas. But still. I hope it's Lauren.

Introduction

Holy finale, Batman! Tonight's show starts off with a bang thanks to a dramatic Christopher Scott routine featuring season 7 contestants, all-stars, and--wait for it--ALEX WONG. He may be stuck in a chair through the entire routine, but he makes intense faces and does some wacky hand movements which makes up for it.

Cat Deeley--looking pretty in pink--introduces a panel of seven judges. In addition to Nigel Lythgoe, Mia Michaels, and Adam Shankman, choreographers Tyce Diorio, Stacey Tookey, and Kenny Ortega join the table. Judge #7 is the Hot Tamale Train queen herself--Mary Murphy!

I am greatly amused by a video montage of Nigel (and his many hairstyles), Mia (and her made up words, sounds, and throat clicks), and Adam ("the man of a thousand faces.") To quote Mia herself, "I thonk it was amazing."

Performances

The first two judges highlight their favorite routines from season 7, and we see encore performances for each.

Kenny Ortega's favorite:
Dancers: Kent Boyd and All-Star Neil Haskell
Style: Broadway
Choreographer: Tyce Diorio
Song: "Shoeless Joe"

Nigel Lythgoe's favorite:
Dancers: Billy Bell and All-Star Ade Obayomi
Style: Contemporary
Choreographer: Stacey Tookey
Song: "Mad World"

Following these routines, we're treated to a performance by Qwest. I don't know if it's the masks, the headstands, the crazy spins, or the stripey socks, but I'm reminded of Robert and all of his weird dances from the season. I wonder if he could try out...

And now it's back to the judge highlights:

Mia Michaels' favorite:
Dancers: Adechike Torbert and All-Star Comofort Fedoke
Style: Lyrical Hip-Hop
Choreographers: Tabitha and Napoleon D'umo
Song: "Fallin"
 
After Adechike and Comfort's routine, we see a video montage that is full of kissing, leg-licking, and references to Lauren Gottlieb's butt. In celebration of all the PDA season 7 brought us, Kent Boyd and All-Star Anya Garnis perform (once again) their Cha-Cha to Kesha's song "My First Kiss." I'm just grateful that we weren't treated to an encore of Kent and Lauren's prom performance. I think we all remember how that ended.  

Tyce Diorio's favorite (and one of mine!):
Dancers: Robert Roldan and All-Star Dominic Sandoval
Style: Hip-Hop
Choreographers: Tabitha and Napoleon D'umo
Song: "Scars"

Following Robert and Dominic's creepy clown dance, it's all about tap dancing. Earlier in the evening, rumors were swirling that Nigel Lythgoe would be the one donning tap shoes, but instead it's a 7-year-old named Luke and The Manazari Brothers--two acts that grabbed Nigel's attention during National Dance Day this past July.

Nigel Lythgoe's (second) favorite:
Dancers: Lauren Froderman and All-Star Pasha Kovalev
Style: Argentine Tango
Choreographers: Miriam Larici and Leonardo Barrionuevo
Song: "Oblivion"

Adam Shankman's favorite (because he wants all of us to cry again):
Dancers: Robert Roldan and All-Star Allison Holker
Style: Contemporary
Choreographer: Travis Wall
Song: "Fix You"

Following encores of Nigel and Adam's favorite routines, Lil C pairs up with last season's SYTYCD winner, Russell Ferguson for a Hip-Hop performance that is as mean as Russell's hair. Some of you may recall that Lil C was a guest judge for last season's finale.

Mary Murphy's favorite:
Dancers: Jose Ruiz and All-Star Dominic Sandoval
Style: B-Boying
Choreographer: Tabitha and Napoleon D'umo
Song: "Battle for the Beat"

All-star Neil Haskell and SYTYCD (U.K.) winner Charlie Bruce are the next stage performers and there are many words beginning with "c" that pop into my brain: Clouds. Cherubs. Celine Dion. Their routine is airy-fairy and beautiful, but it can't cushion the blow of what comes next: