The lesson on this week's episode of Rock of Love Charm School deals with expressing your emotions through more productive ways than spitting and throwing plates. Unfortunately, this means writing songs and poetry and using sock puppets. If you think songs can't be that bad, the guest judge is Sarah MacLachlan's drummer, so it's all about Lilith Fair womyn empowerment.

Basically, everyone is angry at Lacey because she's a manipulative she-wolf who will sell her friends down the river to get ahead. Lacey spends the episode trying to make amends, but it's impossible to tell when she's being genuine and when she's trying to impress Sharon to stay in the game.

The girls go to a little bar to perform their songs and poems, and they must bring up the object of their anger on stage with them. Nearly everyone targets Lacey, leading to Destiney's painfully off-key singing and Kristy Joe's laughable bongo skills. How hard can it be to play the bongos? Matthew McConaughey can do it nude and high. Jessica, quickly becoming one of my favorite people on TV, does a pretty kick-ass spoken word tirade.

Heather throws everyone for a loop by writing a series of haikus about Jessica, complaining that Jessica doesn't really need to be at Charm School because she's already a confident employee of NASA. It's hard to argue with her, since Jessica looks more like a Jeopardy contestant than a Rock of Love girl.

Lacey brings up Heather and sings an emotional song that serves as an apology for all the bad things she's done. Lacey starts to cry during the performance, and she seems to be sincere, but she's like the girl who cried wolf, so I'm still skeptical. So are the judges, and they're conflicted about whether to believe the emotion or doubt her motives.

Inexplicably, Brandi M. wins for her pretty lame, angry poem about Lacey. On the bus ride back to the mansion, Jessica starts to cry because all the other girls keep complimenting her, and as Kristy Joe properly points out, she's upset because the other girls don't think she's a trainwreck.

Before the expulsion, Sharon asks the girls to decide whether Kristy Joe or Jessica is less in need of Charm School, in a task designed to make people angry and upset. They settle on Jessica and write her name down.

Rock of Love Charm School Elimination Time! Kristy Joe is expelled because the judges aren't seeing any changes in her because she has way too many defenses. I breathed a sigh of relief because I love Jessica, but then Sharon pulled a switcheroo and expelled Jessica as well because she's too good and doesn't need Charm School. It's a double expulsion! Jessica correctly points out that apparently you need to be a trainwreck to win this show, which is sad on so many levels.

Next week on Rock of Love Charm School: The girls must design their own t-shirts, and there will be rhinestones!


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of VH1)