After a good-looking promo, I had really high hopes for the latest episode of Revolution
. Then I saw it was called "Mis Dos Padres," a Mexican My Two Dads
, if you will, and I was really hopeful the post-apocalyptic versions of Paul Reiser and Greg Evigan were going to sweep us away to a land of focused hope.
I don't mean to beat a dead Patriot's horse, because Stacy Keenan knows I've been saying the same thing week after week. But this one was a perfect example of what is not working this season.
I complained that the return from winter hiatus lacked punch and gusto, and it didn't suck viewers back in like you'd expect after six weeks off. Well even if "Mis Dos Padres" packed a bit more action, it's still too disjointed for us to really care about anyone.
Everyone is now split up, and we have four, FOUR, separate storylines going on at once. Which means each one gets about 11 minutes and no one gives a crap. If this entire season had been dedicated to defeating the Patriots in Willoughby, even though I don't see what that would accomplish, I could get behind that. I could root for something.
But everyone keeps getting sidetracked by little side adventures, and it's just a distraction from the unaccomplishable mission at hand. At the end of 60 minutes, we always wind up not that far from where we started.
The Quick Version
This hour-long bonanza is all about reunions, so if you just want to know what you need for next week and don't care how we got there, here it is.
Conner is on team Monroe, Rachel and Miles are spooning, Aaron and Priscilla are the parents of the nanites and Charlie and Gene are in Patriot custody and in the midst of a typhus outbreak (that's what the Patriots have been injecting into the oranges). Oh, and Jason is in Patriot custody because his untrustworthy parents are taking too long.
Aaron arrives in Spring City and finds Grace, who has been laying low there since the deadly incident at the Tower. Shortly before he showed up, a strange woman who had been walking all day graced Grace with her presence and immediately passed out from heat stroke. She is Aaron's former wife, Priscilla.
She has also been seeing visions of things and people that weren't there, and she thinks she is going crazy. Her husband took the kids and up and left, and all she had left were the fireflies. Then her dead dad told her to go to Spring City.
Grace explains that the human brain is just a cloud of neurons constantly talking to each other, and the nanites are like millions and millions of brains. So when the communication spreads out far enough, they were bound to become self-aware.
But why them? Since Aaron wrote the code with the help of Priscilla and some dude named Peter (I sense a side mission!), the nanites view them as their parents. She closes by pointing out that the nanites are everywhere and have a mind of their own, so how is that any different from God? Yes, that's right. The nanites are god.
A couple fireflies buzz the house for good measure.
Major Tom is increasingly suspicious that his wife, Julia Neville-Doyle, is more concerned with power than either their marriage or killing the president. So he brings her posies and asks if she's heard anything about his promotion, since that's why he killed the chief of staff. She diverts and then lies to her husband about why Tom is there.
Jason shows his dad the documents he stole from Allenford, which show that Mr. Doyle is behind the reeducation camps and that more are in the works. He wants action. Tom tells him to chill.
Tom wants to get in Doyle's office to get a peak at his files, a la My Cousin Vinny, but Julia says that could compromise the whole "what's the plan again?" plan. Jason goes in anyway and ends up in Patriot custody, but not before he passes on that reeducation ends with "wiping people out."
Charlie and Grandpa Gene spot the Patriots setting up a camp far outside the Willougby borders, and the so-so doctor spots his good friend Lloyd Welliver being taken inside. Even though he has repeatedly sold out his family members and made horrible choices in general, he is determined to save his friend.
When Charlie tells him he's being an idiot, he responds that he's "not too old to smack a little respect" into her. Clearly he isn't phased by the fact that she stabbed a man through the heart with a knife last week. Gene sneaks into the camp, finds his friend's body and is immediately caught.
Charlie comes to his rescue, but they are quickly surrounded while trying to escape. The Patriot commander leads them into a tent, where people are dying from typhus. The outbreak started with Welliver and is now up to four, and the commander asks that they all work together to beat this epidemic.
Because we're in Mexico and everything must be in Spanish! The stereotypes abound, from the music to the cases of tequila to the cartels to the whores, and it's like what a person imagines the nation to be if he or she only bases it on crime reports.
Monroe is taken to head honcho Mr. Nunez' house, and the 24-hour fiesta is in full swing. There are half naked chicks drinking beer and booze and Mariachi guitarists sampling American classics that were probably impossible to hear without electricity before these goombas were even born. There's even a dead guy pinata hanging from the rafters, because that dude apparently "didn't do his job."
And where to these women get their makeup and sexy outfits? The Mexican economy must be booming, though it appears most of these women are in the sex trade and the surrounding areas are pretty impoverished.
After Conner's aunt and uncle died, Nunez took him in and raised him like an "I'll still kill you if you screw up" son. And Conner rose to be his right hand man. And now that dear old dad has returned, they decide to sell the war criminal to the highest bidder.
But first, Miles sneaks in, steals tequila (really, there's so much it won't be missed) and beats up a guard. Monroe is busy warning Conner that Nunez will turn on him in a heartbeat, but the progeny responds that he just won't mess up. Then Miles knocks him out and frees Monroe.
Monroe, however, won't leave his son to take the rap, so he tells Miles to make a run for it, locks himself back in the cell and tells Conner to take the credit for thwarting his escape attempt. Nunez doesn't buy it and makes Conner whip his dad in front of the screaming throngs of really bad, immoral party-goers. With each lash, candy drops from Monroe's wounds.
Miles is caught trying to leave and is thrown in the same cell with Monroe, and the happy couple is back together again.
Rachel (and Violence) to the Rescue
Rachel flirts her way into the party and pays a whore diamonds to distract the guard, then breaks into a room where Conner gives her a key and tells her to break out Miles and Monroe from the basement. She complies, but some Mexican dude overhears the exchange and rats Conner out.
As Rachel and the now-freed captives flee, Nunez intercepts them with a knife to Conner's throat. It's about to get sliced when Conner pulls off a reverse headbutt, and Monroe, Miles, Connor and Rachel kill everyone except Nunez in gruesome fashion. I bet a lot of those guys were Conner's good friends. So he is a Monroe!
Reinforcements arrive, and our group makes their escape.
They apparently have no problem getting out of El Dodgo, because the next we see of them, Miles and Rachel are spooning by a campfire while Monroe tries to talk to his despondent son. Conner is pissed that he gave up everything, but Monroe assures him they can reclaim the Monroe Republic together and have more than they ever dreamed.
Because that worked out so well last time, and that was before the Patriots retook the entire country. Nothing like delusions of grandeur to help psychopaths sleep at night.
The promo for the next episode shows us Rachel reuniting with Charlie and Gene to help fight the typhus epidemic, only to find out that the Patriots were behind it all along. What other sinister plots will distract us from whatever the point of this season is supposed to be? And will anything get accomplished at its conclusion? Only time will tell.
Now that "Mis Dos Padres" is over, it may seem like you've eaten a full-course meal. And sure, this may be enough to sustain you. But how many consecutive days can you live on meat and potatoes? Here's hoping Revolution throws us a piece of filet mignon sooner rather than later.
You can watch Revolution
every Wednesday at 8pm on NBC.