Spoiler alert: The true story of Mary, Queen of Scots, is a real downer. Betrayal is involved, as is a messy beheading and arguably the worst cousin in history. Reign
, CW's latest guilty pleasure, may be focusing in on Mary's teen years, but history buffs know that gloom, doom, and head-rolling is right around the corner.
But does it need to be that way? I for one wouldn't want to interrupt the soapy fun and tangled love triangles for a little thing like accuracy -- this is the CW, after all. There has to be an easier (or at least more enjoyable) way to circumvent our history books. Let's explore some options.
Option 1: Fake Mary's Death
So easy, right? Mary already has a gaggle of gals surrounding her at all times, and any of them would make a fine sacrificial lamb in her place. After Mary's "death", the show could follow her life on the run as she mingles with the peasants of Europe and inevitably meets a hot farm boy. Option 2: Create an Alternate Timeline
Oh please hear my prayer, writers of CW! A lifelong affinity for science-fiction admittedly inspired this option, but it really makes sense. Reign
is already juggling characters who should be dead, shouldn't exist, or at the very least, should be far, far less attractive than they are in the show, so why not just throw the "established" timeline out the window? Maybe Mary could become the Empress of the World in this alternate timeline. I'd watch that show.
The CW Orders Full Seasons for 3 New Shows>>>Option 3: Let Pagans Bring Back Mary (and Others??) from the Dead
Okay, so technically this option should fall under the aforementioned alternate timeline plan, but bear with me. Reign
loves its pagans like nothing else, so why not use these mysterious baddies to Mary's advantage? I've always wanted a zombie apocalypse period piece (seriously, always), and this could be my chance. The pagans could use their blood magic or whatever to raise an army of the undead, and recently decapitated Mary could be among their ranks. Presumably, she'd be more CW heroine than zombie after the turn, and she could live happily ever after with her beefy boyfriend of choice.Option 4: Introduce a Time Travel Component
Again, things are spiraling into sci-fi territory. I apologize. My last super unlikely plan involves Mary getting whisked away moments before her execution -- possibly by Nostradamus, who is, of course, a time traveler from the future who was sent back to observe humanity, but got a little confused and ended up making weirdly accurate "predictions" for European royals. He remembers who he is just in time to re-activate his time travel device and save Mary because, duh, they've fallen in love. (Alternatively, the Doctor just flies in on his TARDIS and rescues her because I guess that would be easier.)Reign Isn't Historically Accurate and Why That's Just Fine>>>Option 5: Bloat Actual Historical Events Until Cancellation
Boo, this most likely option is also my least favorite. Odds are Reign
writers will just painfully prolong every brief chapter of Mary's life until cancellation looms. This is great news for some (e.g. Francis), but bad news for viewers who want some sense of purpose written in to Mary's story arc. Perhaps that's why these blasted pagans have become so prominent. A creepy menace to keep Mary occupied while the show keeps marriage, death, and all of history at bay.
Got a better idea for Reign
to avoid Mary's fate? Sure you do! I may have nabbed time travel, timelines, and zombies, but aliens, Atlantis, the Bermuda Triangle, and Dinotopia are all still up for grabs. Share your theories in the comments!
And don't forget to catch up with the merry adventures of Mary and all her pals on Thursdays at 9pm on the CW. (Images courtesy of the CW)