Last week on One Tree Hill
, the show jumped four years into the future and re-introduced us to all of our favorite characters. Lucas was struggling with his second novel, coaching the Ravens, and dating his editor, Lindsey, much to Peyton's dismay. However, she didn't have much time to sulk since she was busy with plans to start her own record label in Tree Hill. Brooke, who is now a famous fashion designer, decided to leave New York behind and do all of her work from her hometown. Nathan is stuck in a wheelchair due to a nasty bar fight, and spent much time whining to Haley about his lack of a basketball career. Meanwhile, Mouth (Lee Norris
) landed a lowly job at a television station with a boss who makes Darth Vader seem sweet and cuddly.
On tonight's episode, Kevin Federline shows up as an obnoxious wannabe rock star. It's quite the stretch for him.
As the episode begins, Lucas (Chad Michael Murray
) is typing away on his second novel, Nathan's hot live-in nanny interrupts his attempts to walk, and Brooke and Peyton are working on their perspective business ventures. Brooke's CEO, Victoria, calls her up to ask why she's still in Tree Hill when her entire career is in New York City. Brooke ignores her and goes back to creating Clothes Over Bro's: The North Carolina Branch.
At the news station, Mouth confronts his boss about his demo disc being tossed in the trash, and she is a Cranky McBitchenstein about it, as always. She tells him she should have thrown it in the recycling bin instead of the garbage, and I long for Mouth to push her in there himself for a nice, environmentally friendly demise. Please, can we get rid of her?
Nathan (James Lafferty
), who can now walk simply because he decided he wants to, arrives at the prison to visit Dan (Paul Johansson
). I cannot express how much I love Dan and how happy I am to see him return. His desire to destroy his family with an abundance of entertaining evil schemes made the first four seasons of this show wonderful. But is he a changed man after four years in prison, or is he still up to his nefarious ways?
He certainly seems different, as he tells Nathan that he regrets not being able to see little Jamie grow up, and he seems to actually mean it. Nathan tells him that when Jamie asked about his grandfather, Nathan told him he was dead. Ouch.
At the school, Haley (Bethany Joy Galeotti
) asks Lucas if Lindsey is feeling jealous over the fact that Lucas rented office space to Peyton. Lucas assures her that Lindsey isn't the jealous type, but Haley finds out differently when she has lunch with Lindsey and discovers some of her fears.
Back on the basketball court, Coach Lucas and Coach Skills are being hard asses and making the team run during practice. I keep expecting this to turn into "Get'cha Head In The Game" from High School Musical
, but sadly it doesn't. The players refrain from singing and dancing, possibly because the two coaches don't look like they'd approve of a little soft-shoe.
After a conversation with Skills, Mouth goes back to work convinced that his bitchy boss is in love with him. He plants a kiss on her in the middle of one of her rants, but instead of getting her hot and bothered it causes her to fire him. I have a feeling she'll change her tune by the end of the episode, but if not maybe we can experience the excitement of Mouth being slapped with a sexual harassment suit.
Back in the picturesque prison, Nathan tries to blame Dan for his injury because Dan was the one who pushed him to play basketball. Nathan promises that he's done with the blame game and that he's ready to leave his anger, and his dad, behind. I hope he's not, because I demand more Dan on my television screen. Maybe he can break out and go on the run with Michael Scofield and the gang. Do I smell a One Tree Hill
and Prison Break
crossover? It's time to start writing my fanfic.
After ditching Dan, Nathan goes home and hears from hot nanny Carrie that she cried for a week when the Ravens beat her school in a basketball game. This makes me wonder if she's mentally unbalanced in some Hand That Rocks the Cradle
kind of way, but Nathan doesn't seem disturbed by it. He's convinced that he's nobody's idea of a hero, but Carrie proves him wrong when she shows him the shrine that Jamie has devoted to him in his closet. It's not one of those creepy shrines that stalkers obsessed with Jodie Foster erect, but a cute little one with some basketball trophies and drawings in crayon. Aww.
Haley goes to visit Peyton (Hilarie Burton
) in her new office, and Peyton immediately tries to give her the bamboo plant that Lindsey nicely gave her as a peace offering earlier. Peyton is obviously jealous and threatened by Lindsey, but before she can ponder that she's distracted by a hideous warbling coming from the main stage. Is that a cat dying? A skunk being slapped with an oar? No, it's Kevin Federline! And hey, as luck would have it, his band is currently unsigned. Peyton could have her very first flop of an album released before she knows it.
After a quick scene of Brooke (Sophia Bush
) dropping a bunch of cash to buy a house, Haley goes to visit cocky Quentin on the basketball court. She's worried that he hasn't returned to school after leaving class last week, but Quentin wants to do nothing but act like an ass and sexually harass her. Give up on him Haley, he's not worth the trouble.
At Tric, Kevin Federline's character, Jason, is done wailing like a dying animal and enters Hayley's office. She tries to woo him to sign to her label, but his judgment is stronger than his acting talent, and he wisely declines. After all, she has no other clients and her business is based in a tiny town in North Carolina. What kind of record label is that?
After failing to land the client, Peyton goes to talk to Lindsey, asking her what secret motive she had for giving her that dastardly bamboo plant. Lindsey assures her that it had nothing to do with Lucas, but was simply a genuinely nice gesture and a sign of good luck. Peyton feels stupid and presumptuous, as she should.
After that little embarrassment, Peyton goes back to Tric with renewed determination to talk Jason into signing to her label. She tells him that she may not have any other clients, but she has plenty of experience, and dagnabbit, she has gusto and moxie too! It's a really poor sales pitch, but because it doesn't take much to woo K-Fed he'll probably fall for it.
At the news station, Mouth confronts his boss, accusing her of "hiding her hot body behind her cold personality" and judging him solely on his looks. Ha! This, of course, causes her to make out with him. Somehow this makes me hate her even more. Mouth can do so much better.
Back at the house of formerly paralyzed ex-basketball stars, Nathan has shaved off his ugly beard thanks to Carrie's advice. He even takes the time to put on a nice tie, get Jamie all dressed up, and surprise Haley with dinner. It's a nice scene, even if Nathan still needs a haircut in the worst way imaginable. He is rocking the mullet, and considering that it's like 2011 in the world of this show, that's even more socially unacceptable than it is now.
At Clothes Over Bro's, Peyton arrives so she can rant to Brooke like a crazy person about Lindsey giving her the bamboo plant. Seriously, she's freakishly obsessed with this bamboo. Brooke shows Peyton that Lindsey also gave her a bamboo plant, finally causing Peyton to realize that she's a total bitch and was being all presumptuous about Lindsey for no reason. Chill out, Peyton, it's only bamboo! Though it was kind of tacky for Lindsey to give both of them the same gift, wasn't it?
The episode wraps up with Peyton deciding to move in to Brooke's new house, Lucas ensuring Lindsey that she has no reason to be jealous, Dan receiving a picture of his grandson, and Jason sinking his career by signing to Peyton's label. Peyton also makes peace with the bamboo plant, finally deciding to leave her obsession with it behind and to move on with her life. Can she get past this horrible fascination, or will the mystery of the potentially duplicitous housewarming gift continue? Tune in next week to One Tree Hill
to find out!
Oh, and we also find out that Clothes Over Bro's CEO Victoria is really Brooke's mother. But we all kind of knew that already, didn't we?
- Don Williams, BuddyTV Staff Columnist
(Image courtesy of the CW)