'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' Recap: Pageants, Lies and Butts
'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' Recap: Pageants, Lies and Butts
Chrissa Hardy
Chrissa Hardy
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
Kenya gets a workout in to prepare for her "Stallion Workout" video. Meanwhile, Phaedra hops into a leotard and begins shooting for the "Donkey Booty" cover. Both of these women are absolutely gorgeous, just in very different ways. It's hard not to stare at Kenya's figure. Is her ass real? Are her boobs real? If so, I'm siding with the stallion. Phaedra is voluptuous and soft. Kenya is cut, tight and perky. Which would you choose? Donkey or Stallion?

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Pageant Queen

Cynthia is looking to get into pageants and meets with a pageant expert to get into the specifics. Cynthia was discovered at a pageant in her tween years, and even though she didn't place (those fools!), one of the judges was a model scout and snatched her up. They start going through the fees and all of the ways to make money from a pageant. Aside from thinking that pageants seem ridiculous and terrible for young girls, I'm surprised to learn how expensive they are! There are fees for everything. Entry fees, photo fees, hair and makeup fees -- what?!

Quickest Lunch Ever

Kenya sits down for lunch with Porsha. Turns out, Kenya invited Porsha to discuss the Phaedra/Donkey drama. I don't understand the point of this meeting. It becomes clear very quickly that Kenya isn't looking to make peace with Porsha. She simply tries to explain that the rumors Phaedra has been spreading about her aren't true and that Porsha is getting used as a Kenya-replacement for now. How did you think this lunch would go, Kenya? Well? It ends just as you would expect; they both storm out before the drink orders are taken and yell at each other as they get into their cars. 

Miss Renaissance 2012

Cynthia and Cy (the pageant expert) scout locations for the pageant. The pageant is weeks away and they still need .. everything. They need to find girls to enter, a venue, the crown, banners, entertainment. I mean, what else is there? Porsha dances around cluelessly and isn't much help.

Dinner and Dissing

The ladies get together for some utensil-free cuisine and belly dancing and the Kenya bashing begins immediately. Cynthia and Kandi try to squash the petty BS by talking about Cynthia's upcoming pageant. Cynthia mentions Porsha's desire to sing at the pageant and actually asks her to give an impromptu audition in the middle of dinner. Porsha fumbles over trying to get out of it and drinking water and tea to prepare. She describes her sound as a "mix of Mary J. Blige, Beyonce and a Rihanna congloberation." Spell check didn't fail me just now; Porsha fails herself by selecting a word that doesn't exist to describe her sound. So that happened. She belts out a few notes before the music in the restaurant gets turned up and the belly dancers begin a performance. Porsha is clearly thrilled and keeps repeating, "Saved by the bell!" Honey, I think we all were.

NeNe's Inner White Chick

NeNe meets with her acting coach to discuss her role on The New Normal. NeNe loves Rocky, but sometimes she feels like the writing is more for a white woman. When she first read the script, she didn't see a black woman in her role. Her coach explains that as long as you can agree and relate to the core values of a character, you can create connections into how they would behave. 

NeNe-Dazzle

NeNe, in the midst of doing it all, has designed a shoe for Shoe Dazzle. The ladies all show up at the event to show their support. Little do they know that Kenya is attending, just to call Phaedra out on the lies she has been spreading. And little do I know that she has selected a dress for this event that is fishnet with two giant cutout holes on her ass cheeks. She also has a giant white hat, but you forget about the hat the minute her dress becomes visible. It's nuts. It's also a thong. NeNe is clearly appalled that Kenya would show up to her event dressed like this. She begins asking for alcohol and cackling like a psycho. Mind you, this is a joke and a quest to expose the insanity in Phaedra's rumors. It doesn't quite give her the results she's looking for. They go back and forth for a bit in front of everyone before the show ends. 

And the drama continues....

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