season 2 kicked off tonight, and one question was on my mind (besides whether the modern day Romeo and Juliet, Ronnie and Sammi, would ever get back together) as I sat down with my keg of Ron-Ron juice to watch the premiere: Can the show retain its magic madness in Miami?
The answer? Maybe!
I mean, it's still too early to tell, but all vital signs look good. Tonight's premiere was all about reintroducing us to all our old pals--and reintroducing Angelina into the group, the way you might reintroduce a virus back into your immune system after you've already been cured, just for the hell of it, because you just love
being sick. That is what Angelina is. A virus in non-existent jean shorts and stripper heels. But a "classy" virus who wants to turn over a new leaf and start fresh, except OOPS! She can't, because she's still a virus, and still terrible.
Mike and JWoww know what I'm talking about:
Jersey Shore is available on Amazon Prime.
The Situation Bluth: "I've made a huge mistake."This is your face on Angelina.So: What's new with our ol' Jersey Shore buddies since we last saw them in Seaside Heights?
Guess what? Very little! The Situation and Pauly D are still BFFs looking to avoid Miami's grenades (and its landmines--which we learned are "skinny ugly girls," nice
), Snooki is now happily dating and totally ready to cheat on her new "gorilla juice head," and Vinny is hoping to ride his new-found fame straight into all the girls' pants. He plans to hook up with 60 girls in his 60 nights in Miami, and if he misses one night, he'll just "double up" the next night. Aww, Vinny. Always such a dreamer.
The biggest changes during the Jersey Shore
hiatus? That Ronnie and Sammi broke up, and that JWoww ripped out her blond extensions. But Sammi's "feels like she still, like, loves" Ronnie, and JWoww will probably get her hair ripped out by Angelina any minute, so it's only a matter of time before both of those situations get back to normal. And by normal, I mean totally f***-ed up. The way Jersey Shore
is supposed to be: It only makes sense when these people don't!Best Quotes:
"You can't creep in this weather. You can't do anything. Girls don't come out in this weather. They stay in the house." Snooki:
"McCain would never put a tax on tanning. Because he's pale and he would probably want to be tan."Angelina:
"They basically invited me." Later: "They don't know im coming. It's going to be a very big surprise." Situation:
"Who Triple A call when Triple A get stuck?"Snooki:
"Obviously, he like f***s his sister for a living."Angelina:
"Well considering I've made out with both of you's. I'm single. If I hook up with one of you's one nightt, who gives a f***?" Later: "I'm trying to be classy right now." Snooki:
"I feel like a friggin pilgrim in the 20s." Snooki:
"I AM TAN. AND I LIKE BEING TAN. B*TCH!" Vinny:
"Ronny is obliviated
"His name is Ron, but you could probably call him Sloppy Joe." Sammi:
"Things always don't end like a fairy tale ends." Best Moments:
- Pauly and Mike buying a cartful of fireworks like a couple of excited little kids. Just as soon as you forget why they're so endearing, they draw you back in.
- Angelina's cooold reception in the house, and her constant deluded self-affirmations that she's too "classy" for these people she wants so badly to accept her. If I can give her credit for one thing, it's that she makes hating her so easy.
- The cab ride from hell (for the Snooki, Sammi, JWoww and Angelina) turns into comedy heaven for us. JWoww and Angelina yelling at each other was expected, but Snooki just screaming gibberish in the middle of it all was straight up delightful.
- Ronnie's triple kiss in the club. The rare and magical TRIPLE KISS! Like a unicorn, but sluttier.
Ronnie and Sammi fighting in the club ... and in the cab ... and to the camera, all hour long. If we have to deal with this "will they or won't they?" (as in, will they or won't they just make up OR throw down
? because PICK ONE!) all season long, I will, in Sammi "Sweetheart's" words, "beat the living sh*t out of them at the same time."
NOT HAVING IT.
What did you love and hate about the Jersey Shore
season 2 premiere? Are you happy or hating that Angelina's back? Is the magic still there after the crew moved to Miami? Sound off below and check back tomorrow for my full recap of the episode!
(Images courtesy of MTV)