'Gossip Girl' Fan Columnist: Columbia Queen Kidnapped at Masked Ball!
'Gossip Girl' Fan Columnist: Columbia Queen Kidnapped at Masked Ball!
Matthew Mendoza
Matthew Mendoza
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV

Gossip Girl was undeniably mind-blowing this week, what with everyone's disguises, dishonesty and overall malicious behavior. It was season 1 good!


Last week came close to the awesomeness of "The Witches of Bushwick," as Serena broke Colin's little cougar heart, Blair and Chuck sexed it up all over town, and Nate cock-blocked Dan for the umpteenth time. But it definitely didn't top this episode, so let's get into it, shall we?

What Did You Learn in School Today?


While Eric and Elliot try to aid Serena in her decision between Lonely Boy and Golden Boy, she'd rather focus on her supposed sexcapades with Colin, which are all over Page Six. Isn't it odd that the writers decide to make Serena famous whenever it's convenient? Anyway, when Dean Reuther expels Serena as politely as possible, Lily goes Julie Cooper on her ass and threatens to have an article written up in the New York Times about the dean's "exploitation" of Serena. Reuther becomes a puddle of sweat and Serena's "academic career" is once again restored. The angels can sing again. At least for now.


Taking Care of Business


Chuck and Blair vow to keep their hands off each other for the day. Blair goes Chuck-less in hopes of becoming the new head of Anne Archibald's (remember her?) foundation for young women. Chuck goes Blair-less because his publicist, KC (I know you remember her!), thinks having a girlfriend will further tarnish his reputation. He proves her wrong by throwing a provocative masquerade party (remember that?) at his hotel, complete with private rooms and curtains aching to be drawn.


Torn Between Two Lovers


Dan and Nate decide to remain friends (with benefits). They solidify this decision by literally playing with balls at the Humphrey loft. They agree to let the best man win (although with Serena as the prize, who's the winner here?), no fighting involved. But thanks to The Outsiders' scheming, they end up kissing Serena clones at the masquerade instead of the real thing, which of course causes them to give up on her altogether when they think she's playing them again. Meanwhile, Vanessa's part in this convoluted scheme entails submitting an application to Anne's foundation under Serena's name. Risky, right?


The Week of Living Dangerously


At Chuck's party, he and Blair get up close and personal behind the massive curtain, where he declares that he really does love her. She confesses the same, but just as they're about to kiss, Jenny-dressed-as-Serena pulls down the curtain. Chuck proposes going down in flames together, so they kiss in the spotlight. Everyone sees everything, including Anne who tells Blair that the head of her foundation would never kiss a boy. Oh, and that Serena also applied for the position. KC, on the other hand, thinks Chuck's bold move boosted his career, so she's just peachy.


I'll See You In My Dreams


Blair confronts Serena about trying to steal her foundation, but of course Serena has no idea what's going on, so Blair stalks off and Serena bitches out Eric for no reason. Later, Blair tells Chuck that although she loves him, she has to pursue her head instead of her heart this time. He assures her that they'll find their way in the end. Four feet away, Juliet has drugged and kidnapped Serena, right beside Jenny who tells Vanessa that after a good life-ruin, it's time to go back to Hudson.


When and how should Chuck and Blair reunite? >>


Fun fact: Ben is most definitely the teacher Serena slept with in boarding school. Does this make it okay for them to ruin her life? Meanwhile, Dan and Nate head home together (wink, wink), Juliet withdraws Serena from Columbia, Eric gives up on his big sis, and a still-drugged Sleeping Beauty lays in Juliet's bed. Will her prince come to save her?


(Image courtesy of the CW)