Ready to get back to your regularly scheduled Glee
programming after the over-the-topness that was the post-Super Bowl episode? Yeah, me too.
So let's get to Glee
Not that you don't already do this while watching Glee, but suspend disbelief for a moment if you will: Puck is in love with Lauren Zizes. Even more unbelievable, I'm actually starting to dig her myself -- though, definitely not as much as Puck is. Apparently, it's not a hot gal he needs -- what he needs is a strong woman -- literally -- and Lauren's his girl.
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Finn's feeling pretty high on life himself with ladies lining up to be
his valentine -- but after their kiss at the end of the post-Super Bowl
episode, he only has eyes for Quinn. And he thinks he can pry her away
from Sam if he can get her to kiss him again (if that's the case, why
didn't the last kiss do it?).
Elsewhere, we find out that Valentine's
Day is Blaine's favorite holiday, as he confides in Kurt that there's a
guy he likes and he wants to sing to him on Valentine's Day. Kurt, of
course, thinks Blaine is talking about him.
We, the informed viewers who
know how this sort of situation always plays out on TV and in movies,
know that he's not talking about Kurt. And unfortch, Kurt's delusion is
only backed up by the fact that Blaine knows his coffee order (in which
case, if this is love, then the gal at my local coffee shop totally
loves me -- and the $4.65 I fork over every morning).
Back at glee club
HQ, Mr. Schue doles out this week's assignment: Pick a partner and sing
them the world's greatest love song. Also, Finn pops up with his
brilliant (to him) idea to get Quinn to kiss him: He's setting up a
kissing booth to raise money for the club (but didn't they just get
Sue's entire Cheerio budget in the post-Super Bowl episode?).
Not in a
loving mood is Santana, who attacks Lauren for getting with her man
(which hasn't actually happened yet). In turn, the entire glee club
turns on Santana over their own individual beefs with her, who dissolves into a blubbering mess in the hallway.
Even a little help from Brittany can't soothe her: "Have you tried
rocking back and forth? People do that in movies."
Puck finally asks
Lauren out, but unlike the other gals in school, she's not so easily
attained. She needs to be wooed. Fall into the Gap
Over at Dalton Academy, Blaine asks his
fellow Warblers for some help in telling his crush how he feels by
serenading the dude off campus. We still know he's not talking about
Kurt. Kurt still thinks he is talking about Kurt -- that is, until Blaine
tells them where the serenade will take place: the Gap. His fellow is a
junior manager there.
Poor Kurt. But it's nothing a little girl time
can't cure. While posse-ing up with Mercedes and Rachel, he realizes he
made the whole relationship up in his head -- the duets, the smiles -- it
was just Blaine being friendly. Then the amazingly non-boy-crazy
Mercedes points out that all three of them are divas like the singers
they look up to -- Whitney, Barbara, Patti LuPone -- all of whom were
single when they became stars. Harnessing their pain and loneliness is
how they became legends. Mercedes then suggests that all three of them
need to fly solo for awhile -- not so sure Rachel and Kurt can manage.
Back in the choir room, Puck decides to woo his potential lady love with
a song. Not just any song, though. One of the worst songs you could choose to woo
a gal: Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls."
Puck's support: "That's kind of my
love song to you because, you know, you're a little on the heavier
Lauren's rebuttal: "That was the first time anybody ever sang
me a love song -- and it made me feel like crap."
Over at Finn's kissing
booth, Becky demands tongue (but gets cheek), Quinn tells Finn she's not
kissing him again but Sam (oblivious to Finn and Quinn's kiss in
Sunday's ep) tells her he wants her to in order to somehow prove that
they're not into each other (poor Sam), and Rachel hands over a buck for
Finn to kiss her and reignite his feelings for her. After only getting a
cheek peck from Finn, Rachel divulges that she's still in love with
Finn, and he reminds her that she cheated on him. But
he gives her the
Christmas present he didn't give her after they broke up -- a gold star
necklace: "You're a real star; you need to shine. Just because I can't
be with you doesn't mean I don't believe in you." Which sounds more like something your dead grandmother's ghost would tell you rather than your ex-boyfriend.
bought her own necklace -- a V-Day gift that's supposed to be from Puck --
and tells Puck that he can take her to dinner for Valentine's Day.
However, Puck's not having it because he's into Lauren now, who for some
reason Santana thinks she can take in a fight. Which is awesome.
slamming Santana into a locker a few times, Lauren sends Satana to the
Meanwhile, Sam chaperones the kiss between Quinn and Finn. Dios
They see fireworks, and Quinn tells Finn to meet him in the
Over at the Gap, Kurt encourages a nervous Blaine to go
through with singing to his crush, leading to one of the most
uncomfortable scenes in the history of ever, as Blaine and the Warblers
chase this poor guy around the Gap singing "When I Get You Alone."
Excellent song choice for maximum discomfort. Or for shopping for a
sensible pair of chinos.
Afterward, Kurt and Blaine wait outside the
store for Gap junior manager Jeremiah (who sort of resembles a semi-hot version of Carrot Top) to emerge, which he does after
being fired for creating a scene (though, he wasn't actually the one
making the scene).
He essentially pats Blaine on the head, and is like,
Sorry, buddy, we're not dating and you're underage. Blaine realizes he made up the
whole "relationship" in his head. Mono y Mono
Back at McKinley, a devious yet
perceptive Santana recognizes the look of cheating between Finn and
To stir the pot, Santana sticks her tongue down the throat of some
poor kid with mono -- apparently she's immune from having it so many times -- and then kisses Finn ...
Who later meets up with Quinn in the
auditorium to commence (continue?) cheating. But first, the two have a
little chat about cheating, which makes it feel even worse. You still
have time to back out! But no. Lips meet. They're cheaters. And now, we
know Santana's little plan will most likely come to fruition, infecting
both Finn and Quinn with mono, hence proving their cheating.
library, Puck finally gets a clue about how to woo Lauren and proposes a
date with a ring pop. So why is Puck making out with some random
waitress during his date?? Because Lauren stood him up. He later
confesses to Lauren that what he likes most about her is that she's a
girl who's an even bigger badass than him. She's the lady Puck. Sort of.
So the two agree to take it slow and be V-Day dates as friends.
coffee once again, Blaine and Kurt chat about the Gap Attack debacle. So Kurt gets bold and tells Blaine that when he was talking about
singing to his crush, Kurt thought he was talking about him. Blaine in
turn gives himself a virtual face-palm and confesses that he's never had
a boyfriend and has no idea what he's doing, but he really cares about
Kurt and doesn't want to screw this up. So they vow to embark on a sort
of When Harry Met Sally
sitch. Here's hoping it takes less time for them
to get together than Harry and Sally, though.
Meanwhile, as predicted,
Finn and Quinn both get mono, but Sam is only kinda, sorta suspicious in
a not really at all way. And Quinn realizes that cheating may not be
all it's cracked up to be, since the first time she did it she got
knocked up and the second time she got mono. She tells Finn nothing can happen
between them until she figures out what's up with her and Sam and he
figures out what's up with him and Rachel.
When Finn awakes from his
mono-induced slumber, Rachel's there to take care of him. She asks him
if he kissed Quinn. He tells her he saw fireworks, leading her to ask
the question she's not supposed to -- if he saw fireworks when the two of them kissed. He says nothing. Poor Rachel.
Later the gang's all at
Breadsticks to celebrate Valentine's Day at Kurt's Lonely Hearts Club
Dinner, where the Warblers are the evening's entertainment. Lauren and
Puck actually look really sweet together, and is that a look
I see being
exchanged between Santana and Sam?
"To all the singles out there, this
is our year," says Kurt. Does that mean it's their year to hook up with
someone or their year to stand on their own? For teen self-esteem
everywhere, here's hoping it's the latter.
The Music Queen's "Fat
Bottomed Girls" sung by Puck and the glee boys
Sure, it sucks as a love
song, but the energy and vocals are awesome. And I'm a sucker for Puck
with a guitar. Michael Jackson's "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)" sung by
Artie with Mike Chang on dance backup
I think I just love this song
regardless of who's singing it. Plus, Mike Chang's dance solo was
amazing -- but does anyone else find it super-bizarre that Mike is only
good for dancing in the glee club? Robin Thicke's "When I Get You Alone"
sung by Blaine and the Warblers
I was so distracted by the extreme
discomfort of this scene that I don't know if I can actually judge the
performance. But it did have a nice flash-mob feel, and it's nice to see
the Warblers performing off campus. "My Funny Valentine" from Babes in
Arms sung by Tina
Did I miss some major plotline that involves Tina
being extremely emotional about Mike and/or Valentine's Day? What was
with the sudden sobbing?
Katy Perry's "Fireworks" sung by Rachel and the
Rachel did a rad job, per usual, though I wasn't digging the
Auto-Tune-y techno voice backing thingie on her voice at the beginning.
But did anyone else miss getting to hear Brittany sing a love song in
this episode? Paul McCartney's "Silly Love Songs" sung by the Warblers
kind of hate this song. And it's not Glee's fault. It's Paul
McCartney's fault. But these guys did a bang-up job with it.
More "Silly Love Songs"