'Big Brother 14' Recap: The Greatest Move in the History of the Game
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
In the history of Big Brother,
nothing comes close to the insane strategic brilliance that goes down
in this week's Power of Veto episode. Dan is doomed. Frank and Jenn team
up, take a ton of painful, game-changing punishments in order to ensure
Dan gets evicted, and then he somehow manages to turn it all around.
How? Well, that's the beauty of this episode that fills me with giddy pleasure. He makes Danielle cry (which, granted, isn't very hard) and then somehow tricks Frank and Jenn into saving him.
The Original Plan
After nominations, Jenn finally decides to enter the game as a player by aligning with Frank. She's doing this at the right moment, because aligning with Frank last week proved disastrous for Ashley.
Meanwhile, the Quack Pack wants to stay alive by having Shane or Britney win the Power of Veto so both nominees can be saved and the Quack Pack can remain in tact. That's easier said than done.
The Power of Veto
Jenn, Britney and Shane get to play, and it's basically Punishment Pictionary where the HGs must guess a picture (from a Draw Something doodle) and if they're right, they have to take a punishment to win the points.
This poses a big problem for the Quack Pack, because there's no communicating allowed, so it's basically impossible to throw this competition as they planned. Britney gets mad when Dan starts buzzing in, but it's understandable because Frank gets off to a big lead. Since Dan can't actually ensure Britney or Shane can win (in fact, Shane gets zero points), it makes sense that he would go for it.
Frank is in the lead going into the final question, but he cheats by telling Britney the answer and gets disqualified. Dan would win, but Jenn takes the final punishment (being on Slop for the rest of the summer) in order to stop him. Knowing how it all ends, this is just plain hilarious, because she's doing this for no reason at all.
Here's a quick rundown of the punishments.
Frank: Avocado Bath, Chum Shower for 24 Hours, Wearing a Carrot Suit for One Week and Sitting Out of the Next Eligible HoH Competition
Britney: Shackled to Danielle for 24 Hours
Jenn: Burns Her Clothes and Goes on Slop for the Rest of the Summer
Danielle: Gets Pelted with Paint for Two Minutes
Dan: Eats Nasty Food and Gets 24 Hours in Solitary Confinement
Dan's Master Plan
After 24 hours by himself, alone with his thoughts, Dan concocts the most epic master plan in the history of this game. He comes out dazed and confused, acting like a zombie. He calls a house meeting and announces this is his Big Brother funeral and he just wants to say goodbye to everyone.
He praises everyone, from Shane being a good guy to Ian being like a young him. But when he gets to Danielle, he says he can never trust her again and, in this game, she's dead to him. Cue Danielle's tears.
Was this real? Of course not, it's Dan the Man, playing this game better than anyone by making a girl cry as part of his master strategy.
With everyone else consoling Danielle, Dan goes upstairs with Frank to tell him all about the Quack Pack and how Ian was the rat who betrayed Boogie and Frank. He offers up a Final 2 deal (and, in the diary room, Dan claims he actually means it) if Frank can convince Jenn to use the Power of Veto on Dan to backdoor Britney, because she's Ian's closest ally.
Next up Dan has to go explain his plan to Danielle, smiling like the Joker as he tells her that he couldn't warn her ahead of time because he needed her tears to be real. Danielle calls him a sick person for intentionally using her emotions for strategy, but he takes pride in that fact. Dan's grin is priceless.
Meanwhile, Frank tells Jenn about Ian's betrayal and quite easily convinces her to use her PoV to save Dan, thus forming an alliance of Frank, Jenn, Dan and Danielle. Dan makes this look easy, but trust me, what he just pulled off was downright impossible. Luckily for him Frank is very emotional and all Dan had to do was use Frank's hatred of Ian.
The Power of Veto Ceremony
Ian goes first and doesn't use his Power of Veto. Then Jenn announces she will use her Power of Veto to save Dan. Britney's face is priceless, like a deer caught in the headlights of an 18-wheeler.
When Frank begins his speech about targeting Ian's closest ally, Britney, Ian's face is equally priceless, like a tragic Greek figure who just found out that the man he killed was actually his father.
So Britney is nominated and cries a river of tears. Dan, meanwhile, is ecstatic that he has a future in selling ice to Eskimos. As well he should, because I can't give enough praise to this man who orchestrated something so beautiful. This is why people call him Dan the Man.
Jenn burned her clothes and went on Slop for the rest of the summer. Frank took a chum shower, an avocado bath, a carrot suit and agreed to forfeit one HoH competition. And they both did all of that to ensure Dan got evicted. Then they flipped. It's an irony so delicious that Chef Joe couldn't create something half as good.
(Image courtesy of CBS)