Previously on Desperate Housewives
: Victor may or may not be dead thanks to Gabby swatting him into the water with an oar twice, Lynette reluctantly realized she loves her mother, only to have the woman leave in a taxi, Bree went behind Orson's back to circumcise their [grand]child, and Mike lied to Susan about being hooked on drugs.
The theme of tonight's Desperate Housewives
is the past coming back to bite you. And indeed, that happens in every single plotline. For Gabi, it's her and Carlos' attempted murder of Victor. For Lynette, it's her relationship with her parents. For Bree, it's her strained relationship with Andrew. And for Susan and Mike, it's his drug addiction and the car accident that started it all. Oh yeah, and Adam gets a visitor, and like always, it's some crazy lady.
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Gabi (Eva Longoria
Parker) gets a visit form the police, and she is way too obvious in her suggestions that Victor was unhappy and possibly suicidal. The cops, no dummies, discovered absolutely no fingerprints on the boat, which suggests foul play. Later, Carlos (Ricardo Antonio Chavira
) comes over and says they need to go to the cops to tell them the truth. First, Gabi offers a drink of tequila, and to keep herself safe, she drops a sleeping pill into Carlos' drink. Sadly for her, the detectives come back as Carlos is zonked out, so she tries to spin another web of lies to cover her affair with Carlos. The detectives get a call that Victor is alive but unconscious, so Gabi heads tto the hospital. Once there, Victor claims not to remember anything, but when the detectives leave, he grabs Gabi by the neck and says he remembers everything, and he needs to rebuild his strength.
Mike (James Denton
) is calling up his drug dealer, Barret, to score some more pain pills. Meanwhile, Susan (Teri Hatcher
) spies Julie (Andrea Bowen
) getting home from her date with Derek, a boy she deems unsuitable because of his pierced tongue and pierced....other body part (or so Susan learned from his website). The next day, Barret comes over looking for Mike, and when Susan finds out he's pre-med, she starts acting her goofy, wacky self as she hatches yet another hare-brained scheme, this one about getting her daughter to hook up with Mike's drug dealer (of course, she doesn't know that part of his life).
The next day, Barret comes over and hits it off with Julie, to Susan's glee and Mike's fear. Mike tries to threaten Barret, but the drug dealer makes a good point that he's a successful college student who found an enterprising way to pay for it, and since Mike's new family wouldn't want to know he's a druggie, Barret wins and decides to take Julie on a tour of his campus. That victory is short-lived, as Mike comes clean about how Barret is his drug dealer, and Susan kicks Barret out of the house. Susan explains it to Julie that Mike is clean now, but Julie drops the bomb that she saw Mike filling a prescription that morning.
Bree (Marcia Cross
) has taken to motherhood, bringing Benjamin into the Family Bed, against Orson's wishes. He wants some loving, and decides ot move into the den to get some good sleep and some self love. Bree drops Andrew's phone off at Scavo's and asks Tom (Doug Savant
) for some marriage advice. Tom is way to eager to discuss his sex life, and suggests finding creative places to make whoopie. He also asks how she's doing with the baby, and she says "the three of us are one little happy family," which sadly, Andrew (Shawn Pyfrom
) overhears. Bree makes a dentist's appointment because she has "a cavity that needs to be filled," and she sheds her clothes in the office, which makes Orson's drill act up.
When Bree gets home from her afternoon delight, she sees Andrew has packed up his car and moving to an apartment, because he's upset with her treating him like a mistake. Bree goes to visit Andrew's run-down apartment which, like all supposedly crappy TV apartments, is still a great deal better than mine. He gives a nice speech about how much he's changed and tried to become a better person since their bitterness, but she never noticed because she was too busy with her new husband and baby. Bree is moved, but what ultimately brings her to tears is that Andrew asks her to use a coaster.
Lynette (Felicity Huffman
) is busy looking for her mother, and after failing, she gets a visit from her step-dad, Glen. She's happy to see him, and after all the awkward, contentious parent-child relationships on this show, it's nice to see one that works. Glen got a call from Lynette's mother about needing money, so invites Lynette along to the meeting. At the drop-off, Stella sees Lynette and tries to flee. When Lynette confronts her about how all the unhappiness started when her mom had an affair and her step-dad left, Glen comes clean. The real reason he left was because he was gay. Stella and Lynette both apologize to each other for their parts in the strained relationship, and Glen, offers a solution for Stella to move in with him. It's like Will &Grace: The Golden Years
Mike is fixing Adam's sink when they get a visit from Sylvia, a crazy possible ex-patient of Adam's from Chicago who he may or may not have had an affair with. Mike promises to keep her visit a secret, but leverages it into convincing Adam (Nathan Fillion
) to write him a prescription for some pain pills. Adam goes to Orson (Kyle MacLachlan
), and uses the fact that he delivered Daniele's secret baby to blackmail Orson into writing Mike's prescription. Orson gives it to Mike after Mike guilts him about the pain stemming from the car accident in which Orson ran him over. The episode ends with Mike heading down to his car for some pills. Susan sees, and when she investigates, she notices they were prescribed by Orson.
Next week on Desperate Housewives
: a tornado comes to Wisteria Lane. It's being billed as the best episode of the year, and it certainly looks like plenty of devastation, and possibly death, will occur. If it's anything like last year's big November sweeps episode, "Bang," it should be very awesome.
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of ABC)