'Bones' Fan Columnist: Debunking the Myth of the Chupacabra
'Bones' Fan Columnist: Debunking the Myth of the Chupacabra
Nicole Bessette
Nicole Bessette
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
Hey, Bones fans! On last night's all-new episode, "The Truth in the Myth," Booth and Brennan investigate the murder of a mythbuster television show host.

The ironic part? Well, he was seemingly killed by the very creature he was supposed to be debunking: the legendary Chupacabra.

Now, before I delve any further into this episode, I would very much like to point out that it was outstandingly and hilariously co-written by our very own John Francis Daley. Can we please give him a well-deserved round of applause?

OK, now that that's done, sit back and relax, and let's get recapping!

Caution: Chupacabra on the Loose

When a decomposing body is found by two very incompatible online daters, Booth, Brennan, and Hodgins are called to the scene to investigate.

Upon taking a closer look at the body, Brennan discovers that it has been completely drained of blood and that it shows evidence of bite marks, just none left by humans, that is. She is evidently confused and confesses to not liking the feeling. Really? I can't imagine why...

Anyway, back at the Jeffersonian, my personal favorite Squintern, Vincent Nigel-Murray, returns to assist with the investigation and proclaims that it was a Chupacabra that killed their victim.

Now, if you've never heard of a Chupacabra before, allow me, or rather Vincent, to enlighten you.

The Chupacabra, meaning "goat sucker," is a vicious creature with the stature of a bear, a forked tongue, fangs, and spiny needles that reportedly kills its victims by draining their blood, leaving behind the scent of sulfur.

Much to the chagrin of both Hodgins and Vincent, however, Cam is not so easily convinced and encourages them, as Brennan would do, to stick to the actual facts.

Meanwhile, thanks to Angela, the victim is identified as Lee Coleman, a television show host on the Wilderness Network with a show dedicated to debunking highly outlandish myths.

Given that Coleman was reported to have been staying at Pine Tree Manor before his death, Booth and Brennan take a ride over there and speak to the owner, Randy Shepard, as well as the events coordinator, Melissa Lawson.

Not learning much more than the fact that Coleman was indeed staying there to film an episode of his show in which he was going to debunk the Chupacabra myth, Booth and Brennan return to the Jeffersonian.

After many tests and careful examinations, Hodgins discovers traces of a product called Jaw Jelly which is used by taxidermists to create a wet look in the mouths of animals they have mounted to their walls.

Moreover, Vincent discovers how Coleman was drained of blood and which animal teeth left the marks on his ribs. Specifically, the teeth marks came from the tooth of a black bear, and his blood was drained in the same manner employed by hunters -- that is to say, he was hung upside down with rope by his ankles.

Piecing these two critical bits of information together, Booth and Brennan realize that the one place that shares these common elements is none other than the Pine Tree Manor, and sure enough, there they discover Randy Shepard with rope burns on his hands.

But wait just one second. Randy's not the killer. Sure, he might have come upon Coleman after he was dead and then subsequently staged the whole thing to look like a Chupacabra had done it just so he could keep his business from going under, but is that really so bad?

Yes, Randy. It's very bad. You tell him, Sweets!

The killer is actually Melissa Lawson who accidentally shot Coleman when she was out hunting in the woods. If he had only worn an orange vest!

Step 9 of 12: Making Amends

Oh, Vincent Nigel-Murray, how I have missed you at the Jeffersonian! It always makes me curious; after episodes like this, how could he not be your favorite Squintern?

But alas. That is another matter for another time -- like the poll, for instance. Be sure to cast your vote at the bottom!

Anyway, Vincent returns with a very entertaining objective: he must apologize to all of the people he's harmed because of his drinking as part of his commitment to AA.

Starting with Hodgins, he confesses to urinating in his tadpole tank, and then he apologizes to Angela for using her letter opener to clean his fingernails and for telling his entire darts team that he slept with her. Oh, Vincent.

In fact, this is something that he frequently finds himself apologizing for in that, in addition to stealing three of Cam's grocery store coupons, he told some of his friends in Paleontology that they both "enjoyed a passionate and extremely gymnastic sexual relationship."

What's more, he did the same with Brennan, spreading a rumor to his friends that they were lovers as well as borrowing her iguana and wearing it as a hat to a party.

Of course, Brennan finds the absurdity of this absolutely hilarious and inadvertently hurts Vincent's feelings by saying that she would sooner confirm that the Chupacabra killed their victim than engage in a sexual relationship with him, which prompts him to say that he's been told he's an excellent lover. Poor Vincent!

And just when he thought everything was fine, Hodgins decides to play a little joke on him in order to get him back for falsely saying that he had slept with his wife.

Under the pretense of taking another look at epithelial cells, Hodgins has Vincent look into the microscope which he has lined with a black paint, and when Vincent looks up, he has absolutely no idea what Hodgins has just done.

For instance, he calls Hodgins a "kind and understanding man" and walks out of his office with a huge smile on his face. Of course, as we all know, it's Hodgins who is smiling and getting the last laugh.

Cue the Maternal Instincts

Although it pretty much goes without saying how excited I am for Baby Hodgela, I wanted to take this time to point out just how adorable Angela has become with all of her sass and maternal instincts.

For instance, when Hodgins climbs the tree to get Coleman's camera, she seems so concerned, and doesn't want him to get hurt, given that he is going to be a father soon.

Also, I found it hilarious how Hodgins drags her out to the crime scene with him when that was really the last thing she wanted to do. I also love how she tells him, "I read a study that says that husbands who suggest their pregnant wives are fat are far more prone to being slugged by them." No one messes with pregnant Angela!

On a slightly different note while still talking about Angela, though, has anybody noticed the hilarity that exists in her relationship with Cam? I'm sure that it's always been there, but in these past few episodes, they've really been working it, and I'm loving every second of it.

Did You or Didn't You?

In order to teach Brennan a lesson about the rational and the irrational, Booth tells her a story about a time when he was in Nepal and saw the Yeti. Of course, she immediately thinks he can't be serious and rejects the idea as ludicrous.

Yet, when she sees how defensive he gets over her dismissal, she diligently spends a large amount of time compiling data that would explain what he saw and comes to the conclusion that it would most likely have been a red bear covered in ice.

Furthermore, she tells Booth that she believes that he saw what he saw; he just called it by the wrong name. And so, seeing all the hard work she did, Booth thanks her for giving him the benefit of the doubt.

At the end of the episode, though, he does not refrain from telling her that, "Just because you can explain something doesn't mean that it's explicable," and he proceeds to use the example of them, saying that they don't make any sense at all.

Of course, at the most basic level, that could be true given all of their differences, but, at the same time, anyone who really knows them knows that they are meant to be together, and even people who don't really know them always think that they are together.

So, in other words, I think it's more than way past time for Booth and Brennan to get together, and if the past episodes -- in particular, the character development of Brennan -- are any indication, I think we have a bright future to look forward to, my friends.

Oh, and one last thing. How great was Brennan's laughing and all of her attempts at jokes in this episode? So funny!

Want more Bones? Check out our Bones Ultimate Fan Page on Facebook.

Next Week's Episode

The next episode of Bones, appropriately titled "Finder," introduces the new spinoff featuring Geoff Stults, as Booth and Brennan enlist the help of his character, Walter Sherman, to help them locate a key piece of evidence for their case.

Check out the promo below, and, as always, be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts on this week's episode!

(Image and video courtesy of FOX)