'Big Brother 13' Recap: Shelly vs. the Zombie
'Big Brother 13' Recap: Shelly vs. the Zombie
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
Two weeks ago on Big Brother 13, Brendon was evicted. Rachel cried (a lot), Daniele and Kalia danced on his grave and the other HGs pretended to console Rachel while secretly smiling that someone else got rid of such a huge competitive threat. Brendon's return to the house was a shock, but even more shocking for him as how quickly Daniele regained control and once again made him the target. Will the zombie get killed off for good this time?

More importantly, who will win the next HoH? I've been getting this sinking feeling in my stomach for the past two days that the competition is going to be about pure physical strength, in which case the producers should just hand Jeff the key right now and not even bother with it.

But let's get to the show first.

Previously on Big Brother: Jeff spitting during the PoV competition. Damn, I was hoping for Kalia's "There's gonna be a ho down" comment about Daniele almost taking her Caribbean vacation.

Veto Ceremony Aftermath: Brendon vows that no one will evict him twice, mistakenly underestimating Daniele's power. Rachel also thinks it's a stupid move, but it really isn't. If Brenchel stay, they'll team up with Jeff and Jordan and take down Daniele, it's as simple as that.

Brendon makes his argument to Adam, but the "Men need to stick together" stuff doesn't make much sense. Brendon also promises Adam isn't a target, but is that so true? If Brendon stays and he gets rid of Daniele and maybe Kalia or Porsche, Adam would be next.

Rachel ta;ls to Porsche, but she realizes that the last time she voted to keep Brendon, it was pointless since Rachel froze her out. Rachel says that Shelly said she'd nominate Porsche (which isn't completely true), but really, is anyone scared of Shelly winning an HoH? Because I wouldn't be.

Jeff and Jordan are torn between their two allies, but Jeff gives Shelly his word that he's voting to keep her. Jeff and Jordan then explain that their side (Jeff, Jordan, Adam and Shelly) needs to keep Rachel for a little bit longer just for the numbers, but they will obviously get rid of Rachel as soon as they've used her up like a Kleenex.

Daniele apologizes for trying to backdoor Jeff and tries to get Jeff and Jordan to make a deal with her. They all unite under a banner of "Get Rid of Floaters" (or "coasters," as Jordan calls them). I don't trust either of them.

Jordan and Jeff have become "cowards" and "sheep," in the words of Rachel, and she's right. Jordan lays all the blame on Adam, saying that if votes to evict Brendon, Jeff and Jordan aren't going to split the vote so they can avoid making enemies and will also vote against Brendon. They have a point, but Rachel is still right that making an alliance with Jeff and Jordan was a bad move, because they're weak players who've been safely hiding behind Brenchel all season.

Jeff might say he's a strong competitor, but he's played in every single competition and the only time he won was when he was nominated, and the only thing Jordan won was an HoH that the other veterans handed to her on a silver platter. I would go as far as to say that Jeff and especially Jordan are total floaters.

Chen Time: Shelly talks about how much her phone call meant, and it's sweet and almost makes me forget about all her lies. Jordan scores major points with America by explaining how giving Shelly the call and getting the Humili-tard was worth it. Brendon gets a dig at floaters by saying America voted him back because they want to see a competitor win. Rachel gets a nice laugh by calling Julie "girl." The HGs finally learn that they're in the jury, which is a relief since they spend a lot of time speculating about it.

Shelly's Home Life: We get more of Tony and Josie, Shelly's husband and daughter. OMG, Josie is too cute for words and offers this advice: "What are you doing, mom? You're gonna get yourself kicked off." Even Josie realizes her mom has been lying and playing both sides and wants her to stick with Jeff and Jordan. And when Shelly got nominated, Josie said, "Shut up, Rachel." BEST KID EVER!!! I vote for Josie as America's Favorite!

Daniele and Julie: Daniele explains that she has multiple back-up plans. She also says she was willing to work with Brenchel if they were both staying.

Nominee Speeches: Shelly talks about dignity and class and respects what the other HGs did for her this week. Brendon thanks UCLA for giving him time off and America for voting him back in. He promises that his vote will go to the strongest competitor, not coattail-riding floaters. He also promises that Daniele "will always be Judas to me." Damn it, he always waits until the last minute to make me like him, because that speech was great.

Rachel votes to evict...SHELLY (because she's no coward)
Kalia votes to evict...BRENDON (for good)
Porsche votes to evict...BRENDON
Adam votes to evict...BRENDON
Jeff votes to evict...BRENDON
Jordan votes to evict...BRENDON


Ouch, getting evicted twice has to hurt, but at least he left  trying to get everyone to step it up. He takes it much better the second time around, as does everyone (including Rachel). Brendon says that he isn't sure if he would've honored any deals with Daniele. Rachel's strategy is to win HoH and shake things up or play the middle by aligning with both Daniele and Jeff and Jordan. Kalia is mean and Jeff totally throws Rachel under the bus. Rachel promises she's gonna make it farther than he did last season. Wow, now I'm kind of loving Brendon and Rachel. What backwards universe is this?

HoH Competition

Wow, another endurance? The HGs are on a slippery track and must run back and forth, collecting liquid soap and putting it in a bowl so they can remove a ping pong ball.  It's identical to one Jordan played in her first season where she had to transport hot chocolate across a slippery lane. I'm happy it's not about brute physical strength, and this is definitely a competition that almost anyone can win.

See HoH Results to Find Out Who Won>>

And next week is double eviction! AWESOME! Also, it's coming one week earlier than the HGs thought it would, so it should be fun. Double evictions are the best episodes ever.

(Image courtesy of CBS)