I
n BuddyTV’s 2007 Fall TV Guide, we stared at countless photographs of the new show casts to determine which were most pleasing to the eye (the “Beauties”) and which weren’t so pleasant (the “Beasts”). In the end, we settle on Private Practice
, Cane
and Gossip Girl
as having the hottest casts, while Cavemen, Dirty Sexy Money
and Back to You
all came up short in the looks department.
I always thought people on the local news were supposed to be chosen based on looks. FOX's failed reality series
Anchorwoman tried to throw a model and WWE Diva into the role, and perhaps it's failure proved my hypothesis wrong. Also proving my hypothesis wrong: the new sitcom
Back to You.
The show stars
Kelsey Grammer as Chuck Darling and
Patricia Heaton as Kelly Carr, two local news anchors located in Pittsburgh. Both are known for their impressive sitcoms resumes and multiple Emmy wins, but neither is known for his or her beauty. In fact, it's just the opposite as both have somewhat comical features.
Grammer is thinning on top and expanding in the middle. His elastic face is perfect for hamming it up on the screen, but if you look too close, you'll notice the man who played
Frasier really does have a face for radio. The actor who played The Beast in
X-Men: The Last Stand certainly fit the role perfectly, based on appearance.
Heaton is a different case. In the pantheon of hot sitcom wives married to schlubby men, she's definitely near the bottom. Maybe it's an age thing, because the woman is 49-years-old, but still trying to pass for younger. But more precisely, it's the ears. Heaton has ginormous, elfin ear lobes. It looks like a pixie mated with a Vulcan. Sure, when standing next to Ray Romano, Brad Garrett, Doris Roberts and Peter Boyle, the woman looked like a freaking supermodel. But when judged on any normal scale of attractiveness, the woman falls too short to be a believable female local news anchor.
The third star of the show,
Fred Willard, doesn't do the cast any favors in improving sex appeal. He's funnier than most working comedians today, and his performance in
Best in Show is one of the single greatest comedic performances in film in recent years. As much as women may claim it, a sense of humor isn't actually the most attractive quality a man can have.
Back to You is a big disappointment. When you prepare for a show about the local news, you hope to see a young sex kitten incapable of the job, or perhaps a silver fox like Anderson Cooper, a man setting women's hearts aflutter while delivering even the most solemn of news stories. But Heaton is no sex kitten, and Grammer is no Anderson Cooper.
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See the other "Beast" winners Cavemen and Dirty Sexy Money. You can also see the casts that were the hottest: Private Practice, Gossip Girl and Cane. Comment and tell us what you think.
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV
(Image courtesy of FOX)