Martha Stewart Wants to Replace Simon on 'American Idol'
Abbey Simmons
Abbey Simmons
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
It seems like everyone, absolutely everyone, is vying for Simon Cowell's soon to be empty chair on American Idol. Just yesterday we reported that Jamie Foxx was a contender for Cowell's chair, and today we can add the craziest name to the list yet: Martha Stewart. Yes, THAT Martha Stewart. The woman who can make water from scratch.

At a gala in New York this weekend, Martha told a reporter from OK! Magazine that she thinks she's the perfect person to fill Mr. Nasty's v-necked void. Martha had this to say about why she's best suited for Simon's spot, "I'd be the best American Idol judge because I'm fair."

Clearly, Martha doesn't watch much reality TV, because "fair" isn't exactly the most sought after trait for judges. Unless, of course, the definition of "fair" has been changed to train-wreck, unduly harsh, or side-split-tingly hilarious. That's not to say that Martha would be a terrible TV judge -- she does have a haughty air of harshness to her and she does not mince her words. Qualities that Simon Cowell could certainly appreciate, as they're ones he demonstrates every week on Idol.

That being said, there's not a snowballs-chance-in-hell that Martha will be named Simon's Idol replacement. On a four judge panel, you can't have two folks who have no connection to the music industry save being fans. If you thought there was outrage over Ellen...just imagine the hell-storm that would arise over an American Idol panel consisting of Randy, Kara, Ellen, and Martha. Might as well cancel the show now, and set your DVRs to X-Factor.