Dear American Idol
I want to love you. I really do. You're faithful, consistent and able to perform (up to three times a week!). And I know we haven't been together that long--what's it been, a couple dates?--but if you don't get it right this time, I will have to admit to myself, things just ain't gonna work out. Ever. If this date is anything like last week's disaster of a Thursday night
date, I might just have to cut my losses, hang my head in disappointment and walk away.
Do I need to remind you what happened last week? Let me remind you
: people who could sing were eliminated instead of people with fabulous bangs, teen verve and even a few who must have sold their souls to the devil for votes. And the thing is: I could deal with your cheesy jokes and conversation that dragged on a little too long, I could swallow the Kara cougar comments and Simon's too deep V-neck -- but, I swear, one more elimination episode like that and it's over.
I don't want to hate you American Idol
. I want this to be a long, happy relationship that leads to beautiful things and number one hits. So please, I'm begging you, don't make me hate you tonight.
Yours, For Now,
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Phew, I feel much better after that little preemptive Dear John letter to Idol
, so let's get to the (right) results show, shall we?
We have some ideas on who'll be sent home tonight. So does our Idol expert Anoop Desai.
Eliminations aren't the only thing happening on Idol
tonight, Danny Gokey will also be performing the single from his brand new album. The big question on my mind? (And Idol
, I'm begging you.) Will Danny Gokey stand next to his season 9 doppelganger with a neck tattoo? Please oh please, oh please?
Top 20 Group Performance: "I Got A Feeling" By Black Eyed Peas
My Mom always said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." So it is probably best that I don't comment on this song at all. But I can't help myself, because my hatred for this song knows no bound. Somehow Idol
managed to make it worse than the original, which is like making water-boarding somehow more torturous. Just imagine Aaron Kelly, Tim Urban and Casey James trying to be hip hop and tough. It hurts, so bad. If this is the intro, I don't think tonight will be a good night...a good good night. I should break up with Idol
for that group number alone. Top 10 Guys Results:
Tim Urban: SAFE (saved by the bangs and Worsters AGAIN)
Big Mike: SAFE (c'mon he's Big Mike and he killed it)
Casey James: SAFE (Time to improve and move forward)
Todrick Hall: SAFE (to butcher another classic next week!)
John Park: ELIMINATED (Zzzzzzzz )
Idol Expert Anoop Desai Fantasy TV Watch:John was Anoop's number one pick to go home tonight, and he once again proved why he's an Idol expert. I also FINALLY got some points on Fantasy TV - woohoo!
Lee Dewyze: SAFE (Duh. Pimp spot = safe)
Aaron Kelly: SAFE (AK could make it through to the Top 12 on cuteness alone)
Alex Lambert: SAFE (and he didn't even curse this time...see he's improving)
Andrew Garcia: SAFE (straight up, you saved me)
Jermaine Sellers: ELIMINATED (I believe the correct word is Hallelujah, right Jermaine?)
Maybe I won't have to break up with American Idol after all...
Idol Expert Anoop Desai Fantasy TV Watch:
Anoop is still batting1000% and so am I!
ON TO THE GIRLS' ELIMINATION >>