Now the fun stuff.  Usually, we only get to see one or two really disappointed faces on the American Idol Results shows.  Tonight, nine contestants will be the recipients of bad news.  I don't mean to endorse American Idol schadenfreude, but after the abject mediocrity of last night's two-hour performance episode, I'd say its more or less deserved.  For the record, my predictions for the night are as follows: Danny Gokey, Alexis Grace and Anoop Desai will gain automatic berths into the Top 12, while Tatiana del Toro will sneak into that fourth place automatic entry into the Wild Card round.  My colleague, the venerable John Kubicek, decided to get all outside the box on us, and predicted Gokey, Tatiana and Brent Keith to advance.  If Brent Keith advances, I vow to swallow a fork and repeatedly punch myself in the esophagus.  If you're on the west coast and can't wait until later to see the results, please follow along. If you're on the east coast and merely enjoy my company, that's great too.  If you don't watch American Idol and mistakenly got to this page while surfing for porn, I applaud your interest in the unknown. 

American Idol 8: John vs. Oscar Podcast - Top 36, First 12
American Idol 8: Top 36, First 12 - Performance Rankings Slideshow


Dramatic piano music.  Ryan Seacrest leaving a few buttons open in his shirt.  The first twelve singers standing silent, emotionless.  This...is American Idol.  We are once again live tonight.  Last night, 24 million votes were cast, and Ryan says that this was ten million more than last season.  If so, impressive.  Randy said he was pleased with last night.  Randy is dumb.  Kara thought it was a good show, though she was disappointed. 

Ryan makes a racy joke, alluding to a late-night tryst between Simon and Paula.  Kind of funny. 

And...the filler begins!!!  We get a montage of the journey of these first twelve singers.  Lame.  I'm done with Idol montages forever. 

Paula appears just as drugged up tonight as she did yesterday.  Hey, it's a cheesy group song.  Another Idol staple I could do without.  I wish Results shows were five minutes long.  Just make 'em quick and dirty.  (This is me venting early in the season.  I'm going to try and get it out of my system before we get too far into the season.  We'll see if it works - doubtful). 

The First 12 take their spots on the couches.  Now, we look at the highlights from last night's show. It takes a long time.  Resisting urge to complain about filler.

After that epic highlight package, Ryan talks to the singers.  Jackie is funny/quirky, Anoop is, as always, normal/likable.  Ryan talks to Tatiana, and whenever she is not singing and not crying, she acts like she just had sex.  It's very bizarre.  Ryan explains how this will work.  Actually, he doesn't.

Casey Carlson is brought to the middle of the stage with Ryan.  Casey Carlson is not in the Top 12.

Stephen Fowler is summoned next by Ryan.  I suspect he will be eliminated next.  Stephen thinks he shoulda stuck with what got him to the Top 36.  Stephen Fowler is not in the Top 12. 

Alexis Grace, one of my picks, is summoned to the stage next.  She's wearing a stupid hat.  Alexis's dad looks like David Crosby's fat brother.

ALEXIS GRACE IS IN THE TOP 12.

Suck on that, Kubicek.

"Alexis Grace has earned a stool."  Eww.

Ricky Braddy and Jackie Tohn are brought to the middle of the stage.  These two, I think, were just a little bit below what they needed to bring.  Jackie's confidence is high - she's sassy, unafraid to go after Simon. 

Ricky Braddy is not in the Top 12.  Jackie Tohn is not in the Top 12.


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