On this week's episode of Alcatraz, the team has to not only stop a murderous bank robber, but they also have to help spring him free from a standoff to put him in Hauser's Super Secret Jail of Doom.


Smooth Criminal

The episode starts with a man who could easily win a James Dean look alike contest going into a bank and flirting with Amanda the Teller. She takes him to the security boxes and they immediately start mackin'. Before things get too hot and heavy, Amanda is drugged and the thief starts breaking into the safety deposit boxes with one of those No Country for Old Men air guns. Although the robber doesn't have a goofy hair cut, he still uses the gun effectively. He finds a miniature version of the Heart of the Ocean from Titanic but is walked in on by another banker. He quickly kills the guy and gets out of the bank.

While this is all happening, Doc and Madsen are eating a healthy breakfast of an Asian buffet when they get the news of the bank robbery. Doc, being the smarty pants that he is, immediately knows that the man they are after is Cal Sweeny. Cal Sweeny was the "guy who can get you things" when he was in Alcatraz. He was also a notorious bank robber. Sounds like a great combination.

Case of the Missing Necklace

Sweeny takes his new favorite piece of jewelry to the house of the box's owner, Mr. Bailey. He tells Bailey that he works for the bank and needs some more information about the contents of his box. Bailey tells Sweeny that the necklace was an anniversary gift for his wife, and that the Sapphire was her birth stone. Sweeny wants to learn more, but the man refuses to tell him. That's when Sweeny brings out his handy air gun and kills Bailey. Doc and Madsen arrive at the house a short time later and find Bailey dead inside. So close!

It turns out that when Sweeny was inside of Alcatraz his business was getting squeezed by Dep. Warden Tiller. In order to get closer to Tiller, Sweeny volunteered to work at his birthday party along with his new protege Harlan. I guess hiring outside help to come work on the island was too much trouble, so why not have dangerous inmates help out?

Party Time

At the party, we are treated to the wonderful world of Alcatraz high society. It is Tiller's birthday and he, his disabled sister, the warden, Lucy, and Dr. Beauregard are all in attendance. Warden James gives a very unflattering toast and gives Tiller a pen. Yes, it's nicer than a Bic, but it's still a pen. Sweeny gets alone with Tiller and agrees to give him fifty percent of his business in return for a metal box that was taken from his cell. Tiller says he knows nothing about the box and Sweeny attacks him. Tiller stabs Cal in the leg with his pen, which makes it a better gifts than it was 10 minutes ago.

In present day San Francisco, Sweeny goes into a bank and try his seduction/sedation of another bank teller but it doesn't quite work out. She hits the alarm and the bank is put on lock down. Madsen and Doc meet Hauser at the bank and have to find a way to get Sweeny out without the police getting their hands on him.

Inside Job

Hauser gets to work by doing the thing that federal agencies are good at and that is by causing interdepartmental bureaucracy scuffles with the local police. While they are distracted, Madsen sneaks into the bank through the A/C vents. She gets inside and tells Sweeny that she wants to help him get out of the bank unharmed and out of the police's hands.

Outside, the police hear gun shots and immediately through smoke bombs inside to free the hostages. This seems like poor police procedure, but what do I know. They clear the bank, but can't find Sweeny. That's because Madsen brought a spare police uniform with her to disguise Sweeny and snuck out with him in all the chaos. As they drive away in a stolen police car, Doc and Hauser follow behind.

Mystery Bag

Madsen asks Sweeny what he took and he shows her a small velvet bag, but he says he doesn't know what's inside. Sweeny pulls a gun on her, but she purposely crashes her car and gets him in custody. It turns out that the bag contained a large key that matched the one that Frank Sylvane stole in the first episode. Hmmmm...

Back at the office, Hauser takes the key from Madsen and hands it to a group of sceintists who I guess are constantly standing around doing nothing until a key needs to be analyzed. We are finally treated with a final flashback sequence which shows Warden James taking Harlan into a basement and using the two keys to open up a secret vault. It doesn't show what is inside, but I'm betting it's a lifetime supply of Fruity Pebbles cereal.

The mystery is starting to get a little deeper, and it's starting to get a hold on me. What's in the vault? Who's sending the prisoners through time? How many more teams of scientists are working behind the scenes for Hauser? I have to know!

Chase Gamradt
Contributing Writer

(Image courtesy of FOX)