Tonight’s Grey’s Anatomy is all about sex. What else is new? Callie (Sara Ramirez) is still sleeping with McSteamy (Eric Dane) – during work hours in the on-call room, even – and all of the nurses have risen up against him, refusing to assist him in any surgeries. As a result, the nurses have brought in a union rep and a nurse mediator (who turns out to be none other than the Chief’s wife Adele) to institute a new “date and tell” policy. Now, everyone who works at Seattle Grace who has sex-syoo-uhl relations with anyone else must report it. This strikes me as terribly unethical and unrealistic, but leave it to Grey’s Anatomy to check reality at the door.

Richard (James Pickens Jr.), hoping to prove to Adel that he has learned to delegate more, appoints George (T.R. Knight) to be “the Chief’s intern,” which means that George gets to run around the hospital like the sex police and make everyone fill out forms about whom they are sleeping with. He goes around telling everyone, “The chief needs to know who you’ve slept with by the end of the day. Be thorough.” [click, click of the pen.] Well, to everyone except for Bailey, who is the only one who is exempt.

When Bailey finds out that she is exempt from filling out the form, she is furious. She is offended that Richard wouldn’t expect her to be having sex even though she’s been single for a while now, so she protests by saying that she’s had relations with just about every man at Seattle Grace, including Derek and Mark. Bailey also sees that McSteamy has been moping all day because of his nurse woes, so after her rant with the Chief, she then gathers all the nurses and defends McSteamy the only way she knows how, by calling him a nasty whore. “Let us close our knees,” she concludes, “and get back to our jobs so that he can get back to his job.” I love Bailey!

George delivers the sex police forms and realizes that the Chief was just using him to get back together with Adele. George finally grows a set and quits, but the Chief wants him to continue being his intern. Also, Adele seems to be impressed with how Richard has changed, so they have sex.

Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) begins the episode in a counseling session with Dr. Wyatt (Amy Madigan). Meredith admits that whenever she and Derek work together for their clinical study, she keeps getting distracted by the thought of his tongue in her mouth. Wyatt advises her to focus on the reality that Derek is with Rose now.

Meredith and Derek’s (Patrick Dempsey) clinical patient today is a veteran named Darren (Benny Ciaramello, who plays Santiago on Friday Night Lights). Darren has survived two tours in Iraq and is now in the trial because of a brain tumor. They are experimenting with injecting a live virus into the tumor. They must make two injections at the same time, so Derek and Meredith practice on a jelly model of a brain. In a twisted way, it’s kind of a romantic moments because the lights in the room are dimmed low and the jelly brain emits flashes of pretty colors.

Darren’s army buddy, Todd, has come in to visit, and it turns out that they are also lovers. Then Darren’s father catches them kissing, and kicks Todd out of the room. Oops. The U.S. military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” provides a stark contrast to the “date and tell” policy of Seattle Grace. Meredith is very sympathetic.

The hospital is also abuzz today because the news of Preston Burke receiving the hoity-toity Harper-Avery Award is stapled up to the bulletin board. Cristina (Sandra Oh) doesn’t take it very well, pulling herself out of Hahn’s heart transplant surgery so that she can go sing “Like a Virgin” out loud to the cadavers in the morgue. Lexie (Chyler Leigh) cutely tries to sympathize by singing along, but Cristina needs the other Grey for support. Meredith helps make her feel better by telling her that she’s now in therapy and way more screwed up than Cristina is because Derek is with Rose now.

Hahn’s heart patient is a woman named Kyra who has been waiting for a donor heart for eight weeks and has been sequestered in isolation because of her suppressed immune system. Alex (Justin Chambers) is supposed to scrub in with her for the surgery, but can’t because he’s running a high temperature and can’t risk exposing Kyra to microbes. Hahn (Brooke Smith) picks Cristina to replace him, and tries to bond with her, while waiting for the donor heart to arrive, over how pissed she is that Burke won the Harper-Avery, even though Hahn is clearly the more talented surgeon. Cristina, however, doesn’t say a word back. Hahn is also displeased that Callie is being avoidy and hiding the fact that she’s sleeping with Mark, which everyone knows anyway.

Richard makes Cristina fill out a form about her relationship with Burke, even though he’s no longer an employee of Seattle Grace, and she vents to them that she got to do all of Burke’s surgeries while he had the tremor, and yet there was no mention of her in the newspaper article. She is pissed as hell that she was Burke’s hand, but now she’s a ghost whom Hahn treats like crap.

In the middle of surgery on Darren’s brain, Meredith and Derek must both inject a virus into the brain in perfect sync. Instead of using the monitor to insure synchronicity, they use the Force, looking into each other’s eyes. It looks initially that the surgery is a success. Afterwards, Derek has to decide whether he wants to stay at the hospital with Meredith or go home and have sex (for the first time) with Rose. He can’t decide this for himself because he’s McDouchebag, so he leaves the decision in Meredith’s hands. Meredith shows some character growth and decides that Derek should go home with Rose. Later, however, he has to come back because Darren doesn’t make it. Meredith takes it really hard, and Derek buys her a bottle of champagne for the day when they have a successful surgery in their clinical trial. Someone else who shows character grown is Darren’s father, who allows Todd to help in planning the funeral.

Alex spends this episode of Grey’s Anatomy stressing out at the prospect of being the father to Ava’s child. Izzie (Katherine Heigl) knows that Ava isn’t really preg-nasty (TM Amanda from Ugly Betty) and really wants to tell him, but she actually manages to protect her patient’s confidentiality. Alex’s heart patient, Kyra, starts coding inside her bubble, so he decides to go in and help her. Kyra’s husband yells, “Wait! You can’t break the isolation barrier!” at which I crack up irrationally. Did anyone else think that was an unintentionally hilarious line? Alex tells Kyra’s kids to avert their eyes while he does a scary procedure that helps her breathe again. He saves her life, but there was too great a chance that she was exposed to bacteria and viruses so they can’t do the transplant, and she’ll have to remain in isolation. Alex now cares about kids and stuff, so he lets the kids visit with their mom inside the bubble.

At Joe’s, Callie admits to Hahn that she has been avoidy lately because Addison thought that the two of them were lesbian lovahs last week on Grey’s Anatomy. Hahn just laughs, and it looks like things are better between them, but then it’s awkward again. Wait, is she or isn’t she a lesbian? I guess we’ll have to wait to find out.

In the elevator o’ lust, Derek and McSteamy bond about being man-whores. Derek tells him that he slept with Rose that night but thought about Meredith the whole time, so he’s a bigger whore than McSteamy.

Meredith ends the episode in therapy. She tries to tell Wyatt that she had a good day, but the shrink says that’s a load of crap, calling her out on her cowardice, for not admitting that she wants Derek but is scared. Meredith walks out of the session.

-Debbie Chang, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Image courtesy of ABC)


Staff Writer, BuddyTV