On The Bachelorette, Joe proved to be a bad “breaker-upee” when Kaitlyn ditched him during a three-on-one-date. The guy spent a few minutes in the spotlight when he smooched with Kaitlyn during a group date in San Antonio, disappeared for the length of a bible, and then re-appeared just in time to proclaim his love and buy himself more time.
While it is a load of crap that Kaitlyn told Joe she had to hear him exclaim his adoration for her in order to determine she didn’t reciprocate his feelings, Joe didn’t prove to be much of a southern gentleman when he threw a minor tantrum and stomped off into the sunset. No need for the additional manufactured drama, we’ve got plenty already.
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Jared cut loose and held it together until he hit the limo, at which time, the tears began to flow. The prize for biggest crybaby still goes to Chris “Cupcake” though. I didn’t think men cried this much unless they were watching the movie Rudy.
Kaitlyn’s Big Confession
The rose ceremony paled in comparison to all the drama that followed. Shawn B., having learned the truth about Kaitlyn and Nick dancing the horizontal mambo, was less concerned about what Kaitlyn did than who she did it with. Shawn B. has a serious hard-on when it comes to Nick, and I don’t mean the good kind that Clint had for JJ.
Kaitlyn and Nick’s One-on-One
Nick enjoyed a romantic “planned” overnight date with Kaitlyn. They were much more discreet about their dalliance this time around. Obviously, they did it. Sure, Kaitlyn claims they sat on the couch, ate chocolate and talked, but you can’t claim to be lactose intolerant, when just a week earlier, you gulped down a huge glass of milk. Sorry, I’m running low on sexual euphemisms.
Shawn B. Confronts Nick
Instead of buying loads of hair product in preparation for his big fantasy-suite date, Shawn B. fumed, stewed and in the end decided his best course of action was to confront Nick for having sex with a woman who is NOT Shawn B.’s girlfriend. Go sell crazy someplace else Shawn B., we’re all full up here.
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Hometown Visits, Fantasy Dates and Two Roses
Obviously, Shawn B. and Nick’s showdown will continue, but Kaitlyn also has two more opportunities to get laid before narrowing the her choice of soulmates down to two. Will Shawn B. spend the whole night rehashing how Kaitlyn told him he was “the one?” Because I’m pretty sure that horse is dead. Rumor has it that Shawn B. will and does go where at least one man has gone before.
And what is up with the hometown dates? A blogger, Reality Steve, claims the finalists’ families travel to Park City, Utah to meet Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn has definitely broken The Bachelorette mold and kept producers, viewers and her suitors on their toes.
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Who Will Go Home
Sorry, Ben H., but the tribe has spoken. Wait, wrong show. This handsome, non-virgin will be sent packing before the possibly not-so-hometown-y dates.
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8pm on ABC.
(Image Courtesy of ABC)