Previously on Flavor of Love 3: The girls opened their own restaurants, and the only edible dishes were pre-made cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory and Hennessy. Ice was eliminated for being a totally fake radio DJ just trying to promote herself, and Rayna was eliminated because she didn’t buy a reindeer.
Now that Ice and Rayna are gone, the Things turn their vicious ness towards Bee-Ex and Seezinz for no discernible reasons. Hotlanta tells Prancer to stop acting like a ho, but the feisty reindeer ignores her because Hotlanta used to be a stripper. Wait, a reformed stripper? I thought these shows were reserved for girls still trying to become strippers.
The girls meet up with Flavor Flav who gives them their next challenge, the first Flavorettes Roast. They’re split into two teams, and each team picks one opponent to roast. They get help from two professional comedy writers, Steve Freeman and Grant Taylor. Steve’s resume includes MTV’s Singled Out and several MTV Spring Break adventures (though on the show, they left out his stint writing for the Nickelodeon kids’ show All That). Grant wrote for Politically Incorrect, The Man Show, and even The Weakest Link. Both of these writers are quite white.
Grant’s team consists of Myammee, Sinceer, Prancer, Shy, Thing 1 and Thing 2. They immediately target Hotlanta, the ugly stripper. The other team naturally chooses Shy. Shy reveals her main goal is to make Hotlanta cry. If Shy and New York were placed side by side, I don’t think I could tell the difference.
First in the hot seat is Hotlanta. Prancer gets things rolling saying she has three kids by three different baby daddies, so Hotlanta spends more on DNA tests than she does on rent. Hotlanta actually gets the best line of that routine, correcting Prancer by saying she doesn’t have three baby daddies, only two. After plenty of talk about a pimple on her lip that looks like herpes, Shy comes up and goes insane, roasting everyone.
It’s time for payback on Shy, and after Bee-Ex gets off to a good start talking about Shy’s funky breath, it’s all downhill from there. Hotlanta bombs like no other. Of course, the first team wins and Shy gets the solo date. Flavor Flav whisks her away to the aquarium where the handler asks if he and Shy want to swim with the sharks. Please God, end this show right here and now with a vicious shark attack. Shy jumps right in, and after some coaxing, Flavor Flav joins her. It’s OK, until a shark swims between his legs and bumps his balls. That’s his cue to leave. They have dinner, and that’s when Flavor Flav notices the jokes about her bad breath weren’t just jokes.
Back in the mansion, Hotlanta is on a mission to prove she doesn’t have herpes. It doesn’t go well, so Flavor Flav has a doctor come by to diagnose her and give him the results. The next morning, Flavor Flav takes the rest of the winning team on their date. As a surprise, because of how well she did in the roast, he also invites Bee-Ex. The Things are not pleased. They go to a water park, and when Flavor Flav goes to the bathroom (which he seems to do on every date – does he have IBS?), the Things try to get Bee-Ex to say she’s been on TV before and is only here for that reason. Bee-Ex repeatedly denies it.
That night, the Things hop into a bubble bath with Flavor Flav and tell him Bee-Ex has been on TV. Wow, that takes balls, a lot like wearing a bikini when you’ve got a big old belly like the Things do. Bee-Ex busts in, and somehow proves the Things right by admitting she was on Fear Factor. I guess after eating a 1,000-year-old egg, kissing Flavor Flav is easy. Grayvee also interrupts the bath by giving Flavor Flav some dinner. Too bad for her the meal is pig’s feet, his arch nemesis.
Flavor of Love 3 Elimination Time! Flavor Flav gets the test results on Hotlanta, and it turns out she just has acne so she gets a clock. Finally, Bee-Ex gets a clock for being honest about her TV experience, and Grayvee is sent home. Flavor Flav really, really, really hates pig’s feet.
On the next episode of Flavor of Love 3: The girls learn ballroom dancing, then they read stories to a bunch of kids. Here’s a helpful piece of advice: when reading to first graders, always wear underwear.