'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' Recap: Emotions in the Woods
'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' Recap: Emotions in the Woods
Last week, the Napa trip began, but it was a little boring. Everyone was getting along and touching each other's boobs. It's really looking like the New Jersey folks can't hack it in the RVs, though. After goofing around, drinking in the parking lot for a bit, the guys decide to go surfing. There's a bit of business about shark attacks and so on, and then the willing shoved their bodies into wet suits and hit the waves.

Melissa opted to stand in her bedazzled bathing suit and keep it sexy, while Teresa and Kathy decided to give surfing a shot. Teresa got a bit competitive in the surf, according to Jacqueline. I don't think it was anything. Teresa jumped off the board and hurt her foot, then forgot about it. Everyone was getting along.

The Joes flashed each other their wieners, Teresa complained about her ankle, Juicy Joe almost admitted to showing his penis to other women. Melissa and Teresa are hitting the boxed wine, and Kathy walks in to try to tell Teresa that her ankle is swollen.

"Tre, it's swollen! It's swollen," Kathy tries to tell her. They giggle and put blankets on to head outside. Outside, everyone argued about whether or not the Golden Gate Bridge was special, or made of gold. Then they played Truth or Dare, and Joe Gorga never turns down a dare. Albie chose Truth, and Lauren asked him if he was afraid that the siblings would be separated in the future. That is awkward, but Teresa's foot/ankle injury interrupts the awkwardness.

They wrap Teresa's foot, and Jacqueline's sadness about it makes Teresa sad. They miss the friendship they once enjoyed. And Teresa misses wearing the boots she once enjoyed before her foot was wrapped.

The next day, on the ride, we discover a few things. Melissa has fake boobs, so does Teresa. Chris and Jacqueline had sex in the RV. Then Albie took a call from his girlfriend Lindsey, who let it slip that she just finished moving boxes into his/their apartment. Oops, everyone was listening. Busted. Lauren was in the other RV, so she doesn't know yet.

The Gorga/Giudice RV is disappointed to see that the Golden Gate Bridge is red, not gold. They determine that there's nothing special about it.

Chris tells Lauren about Lindsey over the walkie talkie, and Lauren admits in a confessional that she feels if they could replace her with their new friends, they would. That's an odd attitude to have, but it seems a common one.

They drive through a winding road in the woods, and everyone freaks out. They're scared of the woods, and camping, and the air. They stop in to a mini-mart and, after being appalled at its lack of produce, treat it as their own Camping World Part 2, just buying whatever their eyes fall upon.

For dinner, the campers are grilling. They still made it happen without any fresh produce. Lauren said something to Vito that caused Albie to note that he would break up with Lindsey if she started acting like that. Chris tells his sister to go to #3, the Wakile's RV where she's been hanging out, and she gets super butthurt about it. She storms off, and everyone tells her she's over-sensitive. Caroline stands up for her sons, and everyone laughs a bit. I don't think they were laughing AT her, they were just having a good time, but Lauren was getting pissed at all the joking around. She locks herself in the Wakile RV. Caroline notices that Lauren sort of got lost in the shuffle.

The horrible group, the worst types to try to teach anything, is going canoeing now. They at least remember to look out for river ticks. Then they all ran into each other on the river. Everyone is splashing and crashing, except for Caroline and Albert, who wanted "a peaceful canoe ride." I love Caroline.

"Joe, our boat's broke!" Melissa complains, before they tip over and fall into the water. Melissa screams in an almost intolerable way and their canoe floats downstream. After peeing and discussing their penises further, the Joes hug it out. Everyone is getting along except for Teresa and Jacqueline now.

That night, Teresa and Jacqueline step aside for a talk. They say they are both hurt, and Teresa says she didn't do anything. Then she said something un-feeling: "I would never question what you did 'cause I don't care." There's the problem. Trying to patch things up, Teresa just ends up yelling at Jacqueline and making things worse. Oh, it's a painful breakup between these two. Teresa suggests that after the trip they go their separate ways, and Jacqueline hangs her head down and cries.

"Cut it out!" Teresa demands. Then she tells Jacqueline how sad and unforgiving she was feeling. It was a weird conversation. Somehow, in the end, they hug and make up, agreeing for things to go back to the way they were. Caroline is SKEPTICAL.

(images courtesy of Bravo)

News from our partners