In the aftermath of the worst dinner party ever, the Housewives nurse their physical/emotional hangovers. Remember how Allison Dubois was the worst (“know that”)? Yeah, me too, unfortunately. Lisa has a fundraiser coming up and nobody really wants to go and see everyone again. But the fundraiser is for this girl who was set on fire, so you can’t be like, “I don’t support this!”

Cedric, Lisa’s permanent house guest, is not really pitching in. The free ride can only last so long, Cedric. Kim has decided not to go to the fundraiser, and it’s probably for the best. Taylor asks Lisa if she can separate everyone, but maybe if Camille doesn’t show up …

I underestimated Taylor. She has a pretty good handle on what is going on and the complex dynamics between the Housewives (including Camille and Kyle and how the dinner party disintegrated.) Kyle feels that she needs to learn how to communicate her point calmly. Can we ever be civil and move on?

The sane Housewives (Lisa, Adrienne, and Taylor) agree that this is some bullsh*t drama. They’re being very grown-up about this, which makes me wonder if Camille (or her friends) might be the problem. Adrienne actually believes in empowering women, and knows that they shouldn’t argue, unlike Camille who says she’s all about empowering women and then just keeps the fire going.

Then Kyle got the text. Camille texted Kyle to tell her that they would no longer be working with Mauricio. Real mature! But they probably won’t be working with Mauricio anyway now that Kelsey and Camille are getting a divorce, right? That’s not your money anymore, Camille!

Instead of going to the fundraiser, Camille goes gallivanting on a motorcycle with Hot Nick. It was very Top Gun, and I suspect it ended with either some hardcore Kenny Loggins beach volleyball, or a naughty silhouetted tongue kiss. Who knows!

Taylor is throwing a Roaring Twenties costume party! I love it! Thank you, Taylor, for keeping things luxe and lavish. Everything Taylor is trying on for the party is so, so cute. Also, Adrienne did some stuff for Maloof Records but it was pretty inconsequential, being all normal and sane and stuff.

Kyle breaks Camille’s text to Mauricio. Mauricio seems rightly confused, because the entire scenario is preposterous and childish. Taylor reaches out to Camille to re-invite her to the party, and Kim reaches out to Taylor to try to force a friendship. Taylor hangs out with Kim because she really likes Kyle. Poor Kim. She tells us “I could be Taylor’s friend easily,” as though to try to convince herself that she can have friends who are not related to her.

Then Camille and Adrienne have lunch and Camille calls Kyle childish. Oh, goodness. I know you are but what am I? Also, newsflash: Adrienne doesn’t care! Look at her not giving a flying rat’s ass! Camille has decided she’s going to Taylor’s party. Yay? Then Adrienne was all, “soooo, I have to go pick up my son …” and she peaced out. I love Adrienne!

I love a big party! And I love watching the Housewives get ready for one. Kim isn’t going, though, she’s too busy bringing her daughter sandwiches. Sad sandwiches. “I’d rather just stay with you,” Kim tells her daughter on her last night in town. It’s a good enough excuse to avoid a social situation.

Best costume: Lisa and Cedric cross-dressing. First of all, Cedric looked great; and so did Lisa. Is Lisa a beautiful man or is Cedric an ugly woman? Or is Cedric the beautiful man? Worst costume: Russell, who just put on a hat sort of. Camille looks cute. Cheap, but cute. Camille is still framing the dinner party as Kyle attacking her. She’s such a victim, you know?
Kyle and Camille avoid each other and Mauricio makes nice with Camille. She’ll probably read into it too much. CAN THEY BE FRIENDS? WILL THEY EVER SPEAK AGAIN? Does anyone care anymore? Adrienne sure doesn’t.

Camille tries to approach Kyle, as she is surrounded by friends, then Kyle reaches out to Camille, who is like “watch me dance!” and they try to move forward. No drama at the 1920’s party, please! Camille is proud of herself for always taking “the high road.” They’ve each had enough to drink to be like, “what’s up with us?” “I know!” “I know!” and now they’re getting along again. Let’s give it another shot, they decide. I hope this works.

Then Taylor was like “Camille and Kyle made up!” and nobody else really cared. Lisa doesn’t think all is said and done. Neither do I!

(image courtesy of Bravo)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).