'Big Brother 12' Recap: Britney Speared by the Brigade
'Big Brother 12' Recap: Britney Speared by the Brigade
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
It's the rare "live" Wednesday eviction show on Big Brother, and by "live" I mean recorded yesterday since the live feeds have been turned off for the past day and a half, using up what little patience Big Brother fans had for this season.

See the Latest Photos from Inside the House>>

We already know Hayden wins the Power of Veto, he doesn't use it, the Brigade comes out to Britney, she's evicted and the endurance part of the final HoH competition begins. Basically, this is the most inessential episode of Big Brother 12 yet.

This show may not be a complex serialized drama like Mad Men or The Wire, but the fans are very savvy and they know when they're being played. If Big Brother wants to keep its fans, the show needs to stop turning off live feeds and pretending that people don't already know the outcome.

Regardless, here are the "highlights" of the episode.

The Power of Veto

In the final Power of Veto, the HGs must find movie posters with the answers to questions about evicted HGs. Hayden wins against his will, because this is his fourth win and he knows that it makes him the prohibitive favorite to win, meaning if Lane or Enzo win the last HoH, they'd be idiots to take him to the finale.

Luckily for Hayden, Lane and Enzo are idiots. They're not playing to win, they're happy that they're now TV stars who can make money appearing at bars after the show is over. Britney actually wanted to win Big Brother 12, as did Ragan, Matt and Rachel. But these three self-professed dodos only care about getting some pseudo-fame and cashing in on it. They're not playing the game, they're playing CBS. This is why a 100 percent foolproof argument for why keeping Britney would improve Hayden's chances of winning the whole game fails and why I hate the end of this season.

The Brigade Revelation

If you have the live feeds or Showtime, you've already seen the complete and unedited discussion where Lane and Enzo revealed their secret alliance to Britney. Editing helps make it look a lot more dramatic and shocking than it was, but Lane and Enzo still bumble there way through it. Britney doesn't really care until Hayden tells her straight up that he's not using the Veto. That sends her down the rabbit hole and makes her cry, because she realizes that there's a zero percent chance of her staying.

Enzo gets a great edit because they don't show him repeatedly talking about how great and historic and brilliant the Brigade is, which was incredibly callous. They don't seem to understand her awful position, which is that Hayden was lying about wanting a final three with her and Lane.

Lane tries to tell Britney that he didn't play her and never lied to her. There's video evidence to the contrary, specifically when she asked him point blank if he was in any other alliances and he said no when she was HoH. But he's still better than Hayden, because at least Lane never broke a promise.

The Eviction

Lane mentions the idiotic ski resort which I refuse to mention by name ever again on BuddyTV because hearing about it sends me into a murderous rage.

Britney still thinks Hayden is the nicest person ever (he's not, based on what I've seen), Enzo is the funniest (which he's not after a long enough time) and Lane is a great friend (he actually is).

Enzo promises to make it short, then talks for way too long before evicting Britney.

In her interview with Julie Chen, Britney is pretty funny and spot on about Lane's intentions being good and that he wanted her to be in the finale with him. Lane's goodbye message is sweet, but as soon as Julie mentions the jury house, Britney nearly dies.

Who Is Your Favorite?

America now gets to vote for their favorite HG and the winner gets $25,000, excluding the final two. Please, people, do NOT vote for Enzo, Lane or Hayden. Give it to Matt. I know he lied about his sick wife, but he was a serious player and got screwed over by the Brigade. Plus, Britney already has $10,000 and Ragan already has $20,000. The Brigade is 100 percent certain that whoever finishes in third will get this prize, so don't let them get everything they want.

The Final HoH Competition, Part 1

The first part of the final HoH begins with the three men on vines in an endurance competition as they're smashed against walls. Enzo screams like a moron and I've officially gone from loving him to hating him more than Rachel. I would much rather listen to her scream "OBVI!" on a never-ending loop than listen to the Meow Meow's idiotic ramblings any more.

It starts, but we won't get to see how it ends until tomorrow's episode, even though this competition took place LAST NIGHT. Come on, Big Brother 12, why do you have to play us like this?

Luckily, the live feeds will be back tonight, when we'll be able to figure out who won so long as they talk about it. It's a good thing the Brigade's favorite topic of conversation, other than the Ski Resort That Shall Not Be Named, is themselves.

Tomorrow's episode will be "live" and feature the conclusion of this competition and the second part of the final HoH. It's unclear if that's real live or fake live.


See Who Won Part 1 of the Final HoH>>


(Image courtesy of CBS)



News from our partners