We’ve reached the Merge on Survivor: One World, and that’s usually where the laws of physics break down and chaos ensues. Once again, only the crazy survive.
For the past two seasons, we’ve seen the craziest castaways last far longer than they should. Brandon Hantz made it to the final six last season while Phillip Sheppard reached the end of Redemption Island. This time, that token crazy person is Tarzan.
The dottering old man spent a large portion of this week’s episode trying to get the women to clean his underwear, though he promised the brown stains were dirt and that they weren’t “poop pants.” That’s one of those phrases I wish I never had to hear.
While some women in the tribe wanted to vote out Tarzan because he’s annoying, useless and doesn’t deserve to be there, they were ignored. Instead, it was Jonas, the sweet, nice, smart provider who cooked food who got the boot.
Why? Well, it’s all part of the complicated evolution of Survivor. Originally, the biggest threats were the physically strong men. Then people started seeing the incredibly weak castaways as the biggest threats because they could skate by to the end. Now we’re at the third iteration of the game, where the biggest threats are the totally harmless people who are not a threat at all.
Jonas was a threat because he wasn’t. He was a threat because he was just kind of average and never did much of anything. That’s the kind of twisted, perverted logic that has become commonplace on Survivor.
And as a result, crazy people like Poopy Pants Tarzan get to stay in the game. Everyone knows he’ll never win a single challenge and no one would ever vote for him in the end. He’s an insane old man, and as much as people like to talk about how they want an honorable game where people who deserve to be there and want to play should stay, that’s not the case.
The people who want to compete and play the game of Survivor are voted out and the crazy, fringe contestants, the ones who wave their poopy pants in everyone’s faces, are allowed to stay.
That’s just the way Survivor works.
(Image courtesy of CBS)