In part one of The Real Housewivevs of Orange County season 9 reunion, Heather offered up a mea culpa to Shannon. Vicki found herself defending her relationship with Brooks once again. Tamra got taken to task by Shannon, Vicki, Lizzie and, even to a smaller degree, Heather, her only remaining ally. And Shannon sat idly by as the other wives accused David of being a flirt.
During this week’s episode, Shannon discusses her very public marital problems and how things are now. Heather deals with some backlash. And everybody wants a piece of Tamra.
The Grande Dame Strikes Again
Once again, viewers question whether Vicki is threatened by younger, hotter housewives. She embraced Shannon quickly, but was hard to Lizzie from the start. As usual, Vicki denies being jealous, just as she did when accused of being a b*tch to both Gretchen and Alexis. All three are as dumb as a can of paint, and Vicki doesn’t suffer fools lightly, but I think anyone who’s had so much plastic surgery of late isn’t very convincing when she says age doesn’t factor in at all.
Lizzie feels that Vicki was putting her through the paces as the new girl; given that Vicki is the only original OC housewife left, is she entitled to that?
Beauty Queen or Drama Queen?
Host Andy Cohen points out that the rift between Lizzie and Tamra began after Tamra didn’t attend Lizzie’s anemic birthday party. Lizzie explains that initially she wasn’t angry, simply hurt. She felt that she became fast friends with Tamra and Heather, and she took, as we all know, Tamra’s absence in Single White Female kind of hard.
Tamra makes it clear that her last-minute choice to ditch was all about the lack of reliable childcare for her ailing daughter. Lizzie just refuses to budge, insisting that an earlier phone call was in order. And, as it turned out, Lizzie’s ire stemmed from more than being stood up. She was also pissed off that Tamra made fun of her dress and failed to call her the next day.
Tamra apologizes, again, and Lizzie accepts but is still visibly pouting. Something not mentioned earlier was that Tamra gave Lizzie a one-year membership to her gym. Lizzie just comes off as spoiled and petulant.
Bringing Up Babies
We get a little more insight into the off-camera custody battle that was or still is raging between Tamra and ex-husband, Simon. It turns out he wants more custody than he already has, exacerbating Tamra’s nasty case of empty nest syndrome.
Not Faking It, Trouble Making It
There’s no way this season’s reunion couldn’t address the marital woes of Shannon and David Beador. Unlike many Housewives, the show actually strengthened this marriage, but it was a tough road.
Shannon is unwilling to admit that she possible overshared when it came to her and David’s issues, but anyone who tuned in this season could have guessed these two were tense without Shannon’s many TMI moments.
Fancy Pants is Put Through the Paces
Not only were the ladies tough on Heather, accusing her of being a condescending know-it-all, but Fancy Pants got clobbered by viewers as well. Heather blames her unflattering public perception this season on the “tone and timbre of my voice, and it’s the cadence at which I speak, and it’s my vocabulary, and it’s the way I gesticulate with my hands.” She also realizes that people just may not like her, plain and simple, because when you like someone, you’ll forgive their “little silly things.”
After a montage demonstrating just how tough Tamra and Vicki were on their friend, both admit they picked at poor Heather’s bony carcass until there was nothing left.
Getting Bitter, Not Better
Somebody’s going to have to come up with a new vocabulary word to describe the truly dysfunctional relationship between Tamra and Vicki because frenemies just doesn’t cut it.
In one breath, Tamra swears she never bashed Brooks, and seconds later contradicts herself by admitting she did talk about Brooks to Lizzie. I guess solicited opinions don’t count since Tamra says, if asked, she’s not going to lie. Tamra also accused Vicki of being nice to her face the entire season while talking shit behind her back (totally true).
Vicki brags that she had a great year and questions if Tamra is jealous. Tamra says she’s hurt. Vicki could care less, and once there’s blood in the water, she goes in for the kill. She claims that Tamra is miserable. She says that Tamra is the architect of her own unhappiness because she runs her trap about everybody else, and it always bites her in the ass. Hypocritical as always, Vicki doesn’t recognize that she’s guilty of the same behavior. We have the clips to back it up, ladies, you’re both incredibly two-faced. Vicki takes it a step further and insinuates that the thrice-married Tamra may already be experiencing trouble in paradise.
Tamra takes a pretty good licking and keeps right on ticking. She’s got her girl Heather for support, and she stands her ground. Despite being accused of, as Andy puts it, “talking out of both sides of her mouth” this season, Tamra says she doesn’t behave any differently or any worse than any of her castmates.
She does regret her betrayal of Shannon, and that her interference actually made things temporarily worse between the new housewife and her hubby. Shannon appreciates the apology but is dubious about a future friendship. She already forgave Tamra once and believes that Tamra has told untruths about her since then.
Vicki and Tamra have a long history, and though they’ve fought and made amends time and time again, Vicki isn’t quite feeling the love to her old friend that she used to. While Tamra and Vicki try to work out their issues, Lizzie makes the mistake of trying to make it about her, which gets her another tongue-lashing from Tamra.
Lizzie starts to cry, prompting Heather to bring her some Kleenex and offer comfort. When Andy questions why she’s upset, Heather replies she’s reacting to the unpleasant exchange going on between Vicki and Tamra.
Her attempt to get an apology from Tamra backfires because, to Tamra, Lizzie and her issues are as played-out as Crocs.
One safe bet: nobody in this group will be playing “Marry, Shag, Kill” ever again.
The Real Housewives of Orange County: Secrets Revealed airs next Monday at 9pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)