Heather has taken Terry to a high-end clothier to get a “wardrobe makeover.” He’s getting a bunch of suits, and it will cost about $50,000. He could have gone to Men’s Wearhouse and gotten a real good deal. You can basically buy one suit and get another one free there. They should have gone to Men’s Wearhouse.

Tamra is “getting back into fitness” and planning to lose weight in the chest area. She loves working out so she wants to open up a fitness studio. Sure, why not.

Briana calls Vicki to let her know that, thankfully, she doesn’t have cancer. Vicki is relieved, of course. In matters of real estate and working out, Heather and Tamra meet in her home gym, which is bigger than my apartment. Tamra brings up this “mud run” that’s happening and Heather is all in. Vicki is out, Gretchen and Slade are in. Alexis is recovering and an idiot.

Gretchen visits Alexis in recovery and Alexis is upset that she didn’t visit sooner. Is that a thing? Visiting your friend after plastic surgery? I bet Gretchen is so glad she visited, because Alexis showed her pictures of all the nasty stuff that was in her nose. But they didn’t surgically remove her jealousy septum, which is still deviated … or, whatever.

Tamra helps Vicki weed through her wardrobe for charity, but then they get to the heart of the issue: Vicki hates being alone and Brooks is helping her through that. Tamra is getting ready to sign divorce papers.

The Mud Run is underway. Everyone has shirts to wear. Terry’s says “Dr. 90210,” Heather’s says “Fancy Pants,” Eddies says “Boy Toy” and Slade wrote “Comic” on his in Sharpie. You wish, Slade. I wish, too–I want to see more of that stand-up! Gretchen sprains her ankle in the mud. First her voice and now this? She can’t do that Pussycat Doll Saloon thing if she’s injured!

Alexis arrives at the surgeon to get her nose bandage taken off. She can’t stand it. But then she looks in the mirror and she loves it! She can’t wait to show it off on Fox 5 News.

Back at the Mud Run, Eddie breaks a finger. What a fun thing this Mud Run turned out to be. Everyone meets for food after they’re all cleaned up. X-rays can wait. Gretchen is hoping that Eddie will start liking Slade so that Tamra will like him, too. But the guys are in the midst of an injury-off. Slade brags about stuff that happened in high school and let that be a lesson to us all: don’t peak in high school!

Brooks and Vicki meet up for dinner. He lives in Mississippi, so they don’t get to see each other often. They chit chat and Vicki gets teary-eyed because she feels guilty for being happy. Her love tank is totes full.

Tamra’s love tank is full, too, and she’s ready to sign the divorce papers. She’ll be a free bitch, baby! But as she is left alone with the papers, she breaks into tears. She feels guilty for her kids and she’s having second thoughts. Yet she signs the papers and the marriage is dissolved. She calls Vicki, not Gretchen, for support. You hear that, Vicki? She called you!

(images courtesy of Bravo)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).