The last time we saw the ladies of Beverly Hills, Joyce was finally getting a chance to air her grievances toward Brandi. Unfortunately for her, none of it was taking because, as usual, Brandi was white wine wasted.
In this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we pick up right where we left off, with Brandi telling Joyce and her husband, Michael, to “Shut the f*** up.” Joyce responds by saying that she “thought she just needed rehab, but really she’s just tacky.” And somehow that resonates with Brandi, and she starts crying. She says that Joyce saying that was disgusting, but Joyce says it was disgusting the way Brandi behaved in Palm Springs.
Brandi has finally been defeated; she starts to break down crying at the table. Lisa, Ken and Yolanda all try to coddle her as she makes excuses for her behavior since she’s been so miserable since her puppy disappeared. Yeah, because Brandi didn’t start being mean to Joyce until after she lost her dog. Oh wait, she’s been nasty to her pretty much since the moment she met her.
Brandi excuses herself from the table and Yolanda goes with her. While she’s gone, Ken and Lisa try to tell Joyce and Michael what a truly good person Brandi is, and that she came here tonight and put “her best foot forward.” Were they even at the same dinner? Brandi started off antagonistic and Joyce just actually defended herself this time.
Joyce says she would love to get to know the “honest” and “authentic” Brandi that the rest of the group knows, but now she’s only seen an “authentically mean” person. She does say that if Brandi came to her and apologized, it would be forgiven and erased in her mind.
Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks
Kingsley is back from puppy training school. He’s supposedly much better behaved now. Now if only Kim could go away to puppy training school…
Carlton and her nanny, Elizy, help Carlton’s daughters Destiny and Mysteri clean out their outdoor playhouse. Carlton wants to make sure that while her daughters have a privileged life, they aren’t spoiled brats. So she makes them help with household chores and teaches them to be very polite.
Joyce and Kyle meet for a golf lesson. They may look the part, but Kyle thinks that golf is baseball. That is not a joke. Joyce catches Kyle up on what happened at Lisa’s dinner. She says that Brandi attacked her and then acted the victim. She also says she’s not surprised that Brandi doesn’t have a husband judging by the way she acts. Wow, that was way harsh, Joyce.
Yolanda is visiting Brandi where Brandi is unremorseful for the way she acted toward Joyce, although she admits it was a bit bitchy. Yolanda delicately tries to tell her that maybe her using mostly “eff yous” is not an adult way to communicate. She tells her that she loses credibility when she talks like that and it’s embarrassing and not at all charming. Brandi doesn’t apologize for the way she acted and doesn’t planning on living her life any different.
Just Like a Tattoo
Carlton and her husband, David, go to a tattoo shop where she is getting a tattoo of a pentagram with her children’s names on it in their writing. She has other tattoos, but this one means the most because her children’s writing will be on her body for the rest of her life. Carlton better have some more interactions with her co-stars soon, otherwise she won’t be asked back for another season.
Lisa and Ken are looking for pieces in a reclamation lot for their new gay bar, Pump. Not only do they have a great marriage together, but they are also very successful as business partners. But Ken defends Brandi’s actions the other night and doesn’t think it was appropriate for Michael and Joyce to gang up on her, while Lisa thinks the opposite, that Michael was only defending his wife. She regrets not reprimanding Brandi, but she didn’t want to get into an argument with her at the dinner table as well.
Kyle by Kyle
Kyle is getting ready for her charity fashion show by bossing people at her store around and fishing for compliments from her staff about how great she looks. At least 100% of the money from tickets sold and 20% of the proceeds from anything sold in the store that night will go to the LA Children’s Hospital.
In a limo on the way to the event with her ethnic friends of many colors, Atrisa and Adrienne, Brandi tells them that Joyce has it in for her and is trying to take her down. Atrisa does think that what Brandi said to Joyce was stupid and a bit offensive — so much for Brandi’s “My black friends think I’m funny” argument.
Brandi decides not to address Joyce in any manner at the event because it’s not the place or time. Lisa does, however, ask Joyce if she’d like to have drinks some time this week, to which Joyce agrees. She is still wary, though, and says as long as Lisa makes excuses for Brandi, they can’t move on with their friendship.
Kyle has a cringe-worthy exchange with Jamie Lee Curtis, who is there on behalf of the Children’s Hospital. She brags about how she’s known her since she was seven and how she’s always been inspired by her generous spirit. By the end of the conversation, there’s physically no space left for Kyle to crawl any further up Jamie’s behind.
Along with Joyce, Brandi and Brandi’s friends who are modeling Kyle’s tacky dresses, Kyle makes her two teenage daughters model as well. Alexia is all too happy to volunteer, but when Sophia feels uncomfortable being the center of attention, Kyle just tells her to be more like her when she was a child star and fake it until you make it. A+ parenting, Kyle: I hope she turns out exactly like you.
Jamie Lee Curtis makes a speech about how Kyle and Mauricio are now in the first family at the Children’s Hospital, which means that they have given a minimum of a $100,000 donation. Even Carlton can’t help but be impressed at Kyle’s philanthropy. Well, she’s impressed by that and the fact that she was in her favorite movie, Halloween.
Later that week, Lisa has Joyce over where she feels the need to apologize for Brandi’s behavior. Joyce tells her that she can’t keep making excuses for Brandi, but Lisa says she’s only doing it because they are friends. She tells Joyce to maybe cut Brandi some slack, given the rough patch she’s been going through in her life. She also accuses Joyce of continuing to chastise Brandi, which even though Joyce doesn’t know what the word “chastise” means, is completely ridiculous considering Joyce has only ever defended herself from Brandi’s attacks.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Mondays at 8pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)