Here’s an existential question for all aspiring reality TV stars: Is it better to get a whole lot of airtime and come off as completely insane, or get almost no airtime, but in those brief moments come off as likable and normal?

Those aspiring for fame (or rather, infamy) would probably choose the first one, though I doubt anybody, no matter their aspirations, would want to be remembered for having a complete meltdown the way Melissa Schrieber did on Bachelor Pad. Then again, I’m not sure anyone will remember that William Holman was even on Bachelor Pad. (Save those of us who remember him fondly for botching that Bachelorette comedy roast so badly, and enjoyed playing our own Waldo spinoff, “Where’s William?” during Bachelor Pad.) Personally, I’d rather be in William’s position. Which one would YOU choose?

In their post-show chat with the media, Melissa and William had their own thoughts about being perceived as crazy versus not being perceived at all, among other Bachelor Pad-related issues. Read on for highlights from their conference call:

Highlights from Melissa:

On regret (and on maybe not entirely knowing what “regret” means?):
I don’t regret any of it. Do I wish that I had done things differently? Absolutely. Do I wish that I had chosen a different partner in the beginning? Absolutely. So I don’t regret it [but] I do regret some of the decisions that I made.

On how The Bachelor literally makes her a crazy person:
My friends and family have been so supportive. They know that I’m not that emotional outside of The Bachelor world. It’s so funny because every episode that airs I get, like, 50 text messages from just friends and family saying like “Who are you? We don’t even recognize you on TV.” For some reason when I’m in The Bachelor house I am just so overly emotional. But there definitely hasn’t been any backlash or anything like that. It’s all been really positive.

And yet, she’d do it all over again:
We made so many good friends and had so many laughs and so much fun that, you know, right now if you asked me “Would you go back and do Season 3 of Bachelor Pad?” Hell no! But when it comes time and they ask you, I don’t know how I would respond. A year from now if you came to me and said “Would you do it again?” I like to think that I would say no but I don’t know for sure because it was so much fun.

On how “over” Blake she is (but she still clearly totally hates him, don’t you think?):
I actually have no feelings whatsoever toward Blake. I am kind of at a point where I’m over it. I feel like he’s still going to Twitter and saying things that I don’t think are appropriate, still retweeting nasty things about me. And we actually had some e-mail correspondence that was very passive-aggressive on his end. So I literally have nothing to say about him other than to say I just want to be done with him. [Later:] Blake is not the kind of human being that I would ever want to be with. He’s, in my opinion, not a good person.

On who she thinks will, and should, win:
We are shooting the finale live so we don’t know who is going to win, but what I will say is that Kasey and Vienna — they knew what they were doing. They came into this playing the game. I respect and love both of them. I wouldn’t be surprised if they made it to the final two couples, but we’ll have to wait and see. […] My favorite people on this planet right now — I love Kasey and Vienna so much but Michelle Money is, like, I love her so much. She’s like a sister to me. So I would love to see Michelle Money in the end.

The ironic reason that she did the show:
I really genuinely came on to, you know, repair my image — and it obviously did not work the way that I hoped it would — and also to try to win the money. So, like I said, I literally did not agree to do it until two weeks prior and I had been asked for months. You know what, it doesn’t always work out the way you hope it will, but I don’t regret it.

More on why she acted so crazy:
You know, I’m just disappointed because I never — I never fall for people, especially after that short amount of time. I think it was just the environment and also wanting to have a partner so badly to get through the game with. That scared me to not have a partner. I was way overly emotional, like way too emotional. I wish I could change it all, but I can’t.

Highlights from William:

On his apparent nonexistence:
I think I did a lot of stuff that was just, I mean, me — it was comical, there was a lot of funny stuff that I did but I think for ABC it probably didn’t fully pertain to the storyline that they were trying to portray and really have the Jake/Vienna/Kasey thing go on. So I think they kind of pushed that aside, but they have so much footage to go through that they want the storyline to be purely Bachelor Pad and that’s for the $250,000 and the relationships that are being built, between the guys and the girls. I didn’t have a relationship that was going on with any of the girls in the house, so it just wasn’t much of a storyline to go with, I’d say.

What he wishes he’d done differently:
The only thing that I would definitely think about changing was that very last night, maybe convincing everybody that I was worth keeping around and that maybe Kasey should’ve been the one that was voted off that night. As far as strategy, I think I played the game pretty well but when it came down to it I wasn’t as competitive as some of the people that were on there. […] I think because I laid low it was easy for people to just say “Yeah, let’s take William out because we don’t want to hurt Kasey’s feelings because he’ll definitely say something to us about it if we let him go.”

On who he thinks will, and should, win:
For me, whoever makes it to the end, the two people that I have incredible respect for in that house — definitely Michelle and Ella. They’re both single mothers taking care of kids. It’s one of the most difficult things in life so, $250,000 will definitely help them raise them in a much better environment. As far as a team to make it to the end, I would say Team Money Graham are the two I would like to see at the end.

On the difference between being on Bachelor Pad and The Bachelorette:
I think because of the environment we were in, it was different for me. I felt a lot more relaxed. I don’t know if this is the right way to say it, it didn’t feel as orchestrated, I guess. Even though it’s all set, your days are taken care of, it was a lot less pressure than “Hey, there’s one girl that we’re going after” and you’re trying to see what happens in that relationship. This is like, you’re actually going to hang out with the guys and you’re not sitting there competing for a girl. I think I was a lot more myself on Bachelor Pad.

What he thinks of Jake Pavelka:
You know, when he gave Vienna that rose the first night, that kind of lost my trust with him. Because we had talked and he said “Vienna’s going to be the first one to go.” Then to see him give her the rose, I was just in shock. I couldn’t get a gauge on Jake. So that’s the reason I ended up voting for him to go in last week’s episode, because I just didn’t know where he was. But he obviously just came on the show to apologize to her and kind of keep knocking on her door and say “sorry” as many times as he could. Hopefully those two are just completely done now and there’s no communication between them. I know Jake’s got aspirations out there to do other things in the spotlight. If that’s what he wants to do, good. [No, not good! Not! Good!] But I didn’t agree with going on Bachelor Pad to try and regain your image as far as just apologizing to Vienna. That kind of didn’t sit well with me.

On his most memorable moment in the Pad (it’s actually pretty sweet!):
I would say my most memorable time is when I realized I was getting voted off, Michelle was sobbing really bad. I felt bad at that point. I turned to Graham, Michael, and Kirk and I said “Guys” — you know it was just my last night there, “You guys want to have one last beer together and just enjoy the moment being there?” So we went and got a beer, sat on the outside out back of the mansion and just relaxed. And that was the best time.

Finally, the best/grossest exchange of the interview between Melissa and William, about Blake (I think/hope they forgot they were on the line with a bunch of reporters?):

Melissa: And I genuinely trusted and — there was so much that people watching the show did not get to see. And even people in the house. Blake and I would go one-on-one off by ourselves all the time and talk and people didn’t see it. There was a lot more emotion because there was a lot more said to me that unfortunately viewers didn’t get to hear and see. There was a lot more kissing, there was a lot more hugging, there was a lot more emotional stuff going on that no one knows about except Blake.
William: Dry humping?
Melissa: I think he puts it, he says “jean jammin’,” actually.
William: He calls it “jean jammin’,” but yeah.
Melissa: There was definitely some of that.

Farewell, Melissa and William. I can’t say I’ll miss either of you on Bachelor Pad, because one of you was insane and the other was invisible. But good luck out there.

Check out photos from the next episode of Bachelor Pad and their latest challenge, “The Nearly-Wed Game”:

(Images courtesy of ABC)

Meghan Carlson

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

Meghan hails from Walla Walla, WA, the proud home of the world’s best sweet onions and Adam West, the original Batman. An avid grammarian and over-analyzer, you can usually find her thinking too hard about plot devices in favorites like The OfficeIt’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys drawing, shopping, trying to be funny (and often failing), and not understanding the whole Twilight thing. She’s got a BA in English and Studio Art from Whitman College, which makes her a professional arguer, daydreamer, and doodler.