Here’s this week’s batch of Bachelor Pad news, views, rumors and tumors. (Tumors? What tumors? Well, William was sort of a tumor on Bachelor Pad, if you think about it. Unsightly. Benign. Removable.) Anyway. Here we go:
Vienna and Kasey moved in together and say they’re going to get married. No, I don’t care! Do you care? You don’t? Then why are we still talking about this??? [US; Access Hollywood]
Natalie Getz thinks the Bachelor Pad season 2 cast was a bunch of sissies about the kissing contest. She thinks it’s not THAT gross, even though ABC forced her to “re-kiss” everyone and she literally contracted an illness because of that. Logic! [RumorFix]
This comparison between Kasey and that other deluded guy with an obnoxious girlfriend on Big Brother is funny. Kasey’s still worse. [Vulture]
One rumor says that Jake only did Bachelor Pad if he was guaranteed to be in four episodes, and that’s why they Lost-cliffhanger’d his elimination and showed his goodbye speech in week 4. Rumors! Sometimes they’re so boring you forget what you were even talking about in the middle of the rumor. [Reality Steve]
Chris Harrison blogs episode 4; apparently allows his child to watch Bachelor Pad; talks about Blake’s “big ones.” [EW]
Chris Harrison talks about episode 4; says more about how big Blake’s nuts are; compares Graham and Michelle to quiet, sneaky mob bosses who order hits left and right. [TV Guide]
Vienna wants to make her own makeup and perfume line.NO, I STILL DON’T CARE! I THOUGHT YOU CARED! [Starpulse]
Rumor has it that Emily Maynard has a new boyfriend. Is he linked to race car driving, do you think? Is he the heir of a billionaire? Just normal questions to ask about anyone’s new boyfriend, you know. [Hollywood Life]
It’s VIDEO TIME!
Diaries of the Departed: William is sad to leave summer camp and all his new best camp friends. Melissa reveals just how exhausting it is to be an perpetual emotion generator.
Deleted Scene: Michelle and Graham have a relationship talk. Remember when Deanna accused Graham of being standoffish and closed off? If you don’t, congratulations. I wish I didn’t have a Bachelor catalog for a brain.


Watch this video on YouTube
Bachelor Pad UNCENSORED: Dance, dance, dance, dance! Aww. When they’re not emotionally traumatizing each other, they have fun.


Watch this video on YouTube
FINALLY: Did you see the photos from next week’s Bachelor Pad episode yet? They’re playing “The Nearly-Wed Game,” and all the photos are of their answers — but we don’t know the questions! What are we supposed to do with that? Well, here’s my solution: Just make them up. Fun!