‘Bachelor Pad’ News Roundup: Chris Says Blake Has ‘Big Ones,’ and He Doesn’t Mean Molars

Here’s this week’s batch of Bachelor Pad news, views, rumors and tumors. (Tumors? What tumors? Well, William was sort of a tumor on Bachelor Pad, if you think about it. Unsightly. Benign. Removable.) Anyway. Here we go:

Vienna and Kasey moved in together and say they’re going to get married. No, I don’t care! Do you care? You don’t? Then why are we still talking about this??? [US; Access Hollywood]

Natalie Getz thinks the Bachelor Pad season 2 cast was a bunch of sissies about the kissing contest. She thinks it’s not THAT gross, even though ABC forced her to “re-kiss” everyone and she literally contracted an illness because of that. Logic! [RumorFix]

This comparison between Kasey and that other deluded guy with an obnoxious girlfriend on Big Brother is funny. Kasey’s still worse. [Vulture]

One rumor says that Jake only did Bachelor Pad if he was guaranteed to be in four episodes, and that’s why they Lost-cliffhanger’d his elimination and showed his goodbye speech in week 4. Rumors! Sometimes they’re so boring you forget what you were even talking about in the middle of the rumor. [Reality Steve]

Chris Harrison blogs episode 4; apparently allows his child to watch Bachelor Pad; talks about Blake’s “big ones.” [EW]

Chris Harrison talks about episode 4; says more about how big Blake’s nuts are; compares Graham and Michelle to quiet, sneaky mob bosses who order hits left and right. [TV Guide]

Vienna wants to make her own makeup and perfume line.NO, I STILL DON’T CARE! I THOUGHT YOU CARED! [Starpulse]

Rumor has it that Emily Maynard has a new boyfriend. Is he linked to race car driving, do you think? Is he the heir of a billionaire? Just normal questions to ask about anyone’s new boyfriend, you know. [Hollywood Life]

It’s VIDEO TIME!

Diaries of the Departed: William is sad to leave summer camp and all his new best camp friends. Melissa reveals just how exhausting it is to be an perpetual emotion generator.

Deleted Scene: Michelle and Graham have a relationship talk. Remember when Deanna accused Graham of being standoffish and closed off? If you don’t, congratulations. I wish I didn’t have a Bachelor catalog for a brain.

Bachelor Pad UNCENSORED: Dance, dance, dance, dance! Aww. When they’re not emotionally traumatizing each other, they have fun.

FINALLY: Did you see the photos from next week’s Bachelor Pad episode yet? They’re playing “The Nearly-Wed Game,” and all the photos are of their answers — but we don’t know the questions! What are we supposed to do with that? Well, here’s my solution: Just make them up. Fun!