Previously on Smallville: Jimmy proposed to Chloe, but before she could answer, the Department of Domestic Security busted in and arrested her. Lana ran away so Clark could focus on saving the world instead of her. Lex finally discovered the truth about Clark and decided to end it all by bringing the Fortress of Solitude down around them.
Season 8 of Smallville picks up four weeks later. Tess Mercer (Cassidy Freeman), the new CEO of LutherCorp, is leading an expedition in the Arctic tundra to rescue Lex. Doubting her power, Lex’s bodyguard Regan asks, “You’re nothing but an obscure regional VP, do you really think you’re qualified?” I dare anyone not to instantly think of Sarah Palin.
They discover a life form, but their victory is short-lived because the Green Arrow (Justin Hartley) shows up to use his archery skills to blow the place up. Helping him out is the Black Canary (Alaina Huffman), whose sonic screech blasts everyone away. The lackey draws a gun on the Green Arrow, but Aquaman (Alan Ritchson) pops up from below the ice to knock him down. Green Arrow thinks it was a pretty good move “for a fish out of water.” That didn’t take long for the awful fish puns to return.
Black Canary tells the boys to stop stroking each other so they can find Clark. I’d call that a double entendre, but I honestly can’t think of a non-dirty interpretation of that sentence. They see a large hole, but nothing down there, and they wonder where Clark can be as we see the vast expanse of the Arctic.
The opening credits fo season 8 of Smallville are: Tom Welling, Allison Mack, Erica Durance, Aaron Ashmore, Cassidy Freeman, Sam Witwer and Justin Hartley. Lots of new faces this year, but on the bright side, every week we get to see Hartley wandering around his awesome penthouse without a shirt.
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