Last week on Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious, Robin Antin decided she would kick things up a notch by eliminating two girls from the competition.  Ilisa got booted for apparently being too awesome and interesting, while Jamie had her boa removed for committing vocal crimes against Cheap Trick’s “I Want You to Want Me.”  When the girls weren’t busy singing and dancing, Charlye was amusing herself by making fun of everyone for their lack of booty shaking skills.  Tiffanie and Jenna were particularly outraged by Charlye’s remarks, leading to an epic kitchen confrontation that should have ended in a food fight.

Tonight, Pussycat Doll and wannabe solo artist Nicole Scherzinger stops by, and one girl gets in a throwdown with vocal coach Kenn Hicks.

Natalie opens the episode by declaring that being beautiful is a talent.  This is just about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, since being born with a pretty face requires no talent whatsoever.  Anyway, Robin gathers the girls together and declares that she’ll now be judging them individually and not in groups.  This week’s challenge is all about vocal expression, which means the girls will actually have to sound decent for a change.

Nichole, Natalie, Jenna, and Charlye will be performing “Emotion” by Destiny’s Child, while Tiffanie, Carrie, and Chrystina will be singing the theme from Flashdance.  Kenn Hicks wants Chrystina to be the opening vocalist this week, but nobody knows if she can pull it off.  In the other group, Charlye is having trouble learning how to dance all skanky with a chair.  As choreographer Mikey Minden puts it, “If ya’ll can’t do this, you can’t be in Girlicious.”  Skanky chair dancing is essential!

Natalie practices her vocals, quickly proving that being beautiful may be her only true talent.  She tells Kenn that she wants to sing a specific line of the song, but it’s not up to her to decide the vocal arrangement.  Kenn tries to point this out, but Natalie takes offense and thinks that he’s treating her badly.  Kenn lets her know that he’s only treating her professionally, but Natalie storms out in a huff with a quick “whatever.”  She’s acting awfully bitchy and entitled in this episode, which leads me to believe we’ll see her in the bottom two later.

Kenn tells the other ladies that Natalie’s behavior is the most unprofessional thing he’s ever seen.  He corners Natalie and tells her she’s a childish diva, and he continues to chew her out until she’s near tears. It’s completely awesome, and eventually Natalie crumbles and agrees to return to the vocal session.  Save the diva act for when you have millions, Natalie.

The next day, the girls go to Geffen Records to record the first official Girlicious song.  Nicole Scherzinger stops by to give the ladies some inspirational hoo-ha.  They’ll be singing a song called “Leave You Alone,” and their vocals will be judged by Ron Fair and some guy named Don Corleone.  I’m just going to go out on a limb and guess that that’s not his real name.  Whichever girl sings the song the best will win immunity for the week.

The girls all give it a go, and after hearing the opening of this song seven times I hope to never hear it again. The winner of the challenge is Tiffanie, who will not be going home this week.  Natalie also did a really good job, but I still think her throwdown with Mr. Hicks will come back to haunt her.

If you’ve watched any reality show that involves a group of people living together, surely you’ve seen the “I need to use the phone” drama played out a dozen times.  Charlye decides to recycle that old chestnut, getting pissed and depressed when Jenna hogs the telephone line for too long.  She needs to talk to her mom, and she carries that emotion and frustration with her into the vocal session.  Kenn helps her out, though he’s worried that she’ll lose focus during the big show.

I wonder if giving Chrystina the opening solo in “What A Feeling” was a bad idea.  She can’t remember the words, which means I must not be the only one who hasn’t seen Flashdance.  Robin and Mikey tell her to get it together and to practice all night if she has to.  Forty-five minutes before the performance, Robin decides to give the main part to Carrie instead.  Chrystina has failed.

It’s performance time, and the “Emotion” group is up first.  Each girl does a pretty good job, though Natalie suddenly sounds like Britney Spears, at least to my ears.  It’s up to you to decide if that’s a good thing or not. Jenna gets kudos from the judges for her singing voice, but they’re not sure if her low energy vibe is right for Girlicious.  Natalie gets reprimanded by Robin for walking out on Kenn, but they still think she has potential.

Carrie does a much better job at opening “What A Feeling” than Chrystina would have.  Even in a secondary part, the girl sounds pretty terrible and definitely doesn’t live up to either Tiffanie or Carrie.  The performance ends with all of the girls taking the stage to dance, but not one of them pulls a bucket of water over their head, which is disappointing.  The judges tell Tiffanie that she’s too over the top, while Chrystina neglected to kill her vocals.  At least she managed to kill my eardrums, so that’s something.

Jenna and Chrystina end up in the bottom two this week, proving my theories about Natalie’s demise wrong. Jenna is the one who has to hang up her boa this week, meaning that we’ll never get to see her or her bangs again.  Jenna seemed like one of the nicer girls in the competition, so now who will mediate the catfight between Natalie and Charlye that must be destined at some point?

– Don Williams, BuddyTV Staff Columnist
(Image courtesy of the CW)


Staff Writer, BuddyTV