Gossip Girl ended its glorious first season last night with a whirlwind episode that felt like it had at least three episodes’ worth of material jam-packed into one short hour. Last night’s finale brought everything I love about Gossip Girl – revenge, fisticuffs, and snappy one-liners in spades. Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg) finally got her comeuppance, Chuck admitted to having sex while wearing his scarf (“My neck was cold!”), and Lily and Bart’s marriage to each other really is going to “eff things up.” (Gossip Girl’s words, not mine.)

The unholy romantic alliances are always interesting to talk about, and last night’s Gossip Girl set us up for a whole new season of machinations, scheming, backstabbing, and new couplings. Let us take an inventory of all the couples and potential couples on the show.

Lily and Rufus – not gonna happen
Rufus (Matthew Settle), being a Humphrey of the male variety, is too thick to even notice that her OMG-face is not the good kind.

Lily and Bart – married
Against all odds, they actually made it through their I do’s. I have to give credit to Bart for realizing that Rufus might still be in the picture, but in the end, it was really Lily’s (Kelly Rutherford) attachment to social propriety that enabled the wedding to happen.  I can’t wait to find out how these two will eff things up. Bring on season 2!

Nate and Vanessa – broken up, I guess?
I honestly can’t make myself care too much about these two since it didn’t quite make sense why they had gotten together in the first place.

Nate and Blair – so over, thank Gossip Girl!
Blair (Leighton Meester) needs more than Zac Efron eyes to complement her super-sized bitchiness, and Nate’s spinelessness is so not cutting it, even if he does have pretty, pretty man-bangs.

Nate and Serena – maybe
Nate (Chace Crawford) is the ho of the Upper East Side, as you can see because his name is paired with more names than anyone else in the cast of characters. He was even linked briefly with Jenny Humphrey (Taylor Momsen) earlier in the season, but thank Gossip Girl, that didn’t go anywhere. So if he and Serena are going to spend the summer together in the Hamptons, then he’ll no doubt be willing to give it up, again and again, to the princess of the UES.

Nate and Chuck – the bromance lives on
Nate should just quit trying to get with girls and admit his true love: Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick). You know you love him!

Blair and Chuck – not a couple, a couple, not a couple
As Don Williams wrote in his recap of last night’s Gossip Girl season finale, I too danced a little jig when Chuck and Blair decided to make a go of their relationship. These two conniving little schemers are so supremely evil and selfish and bitchy that they own me, body, mind and soul. They are my masters and I shall do their bidding on bended knee. Chuck brings out the worst in Blair (which is actually her best, in my opinion), and vice versa. However, Blair and Chuck didn’t end up going to Tuscany together because Chuck found himself distracted by Amelia (played by real-life socialite Lydia Hearst in a brilliant bit of stunt casting), while Blair was flipping for the helicopter jumpseat with the weasley-faced Bass employee. I am actually very glad that they aren’t falling into the trap of relationship bliss. I fear that they would both lose their bite if they only had eyes for each other.

Blair and Dan – I hope!
Dan (Penn Badgley) is most definitely a sanctimonious ass, but he managed to redeem himself in my eyes by bringing in Blair as a bitchiness consult to bring down Georgina Sparks. To people like Blair, bringing down a hated enemy is like having an orgasm, and she managed to pop Dan’s revenge cherry. “Don’t worry, virgin. I’ll talk you through it,” Blair assured Dan, with what was the best line in the whole episode. Now, if Blair can only overcome her distaste for the Outer Boroughs, I think she and Dan could make a very interesting couple indeed. Dan, certainly, would be much better off for it.

Dan and Serena – done for (for now)
Despite all the positive momentum Dan achieved when he called upon Blair to bring Georgina down in flames, he had to go and annoy me again by getting back on his high horse, claiming to Serena (Blake Lively) that he’s “the most understanding guy in the world.” Ummm, yeah. I’m glad that they are broken up, but I still can’t shake the bad feeling that we haven’t seen the last of these two together.

Dan and Vanessa – ehh, who cares?
No offense to Penn Badgley or Jessica Szohr, but I couldn’t care less about whether these two find love in Brooklyn over the summer.

-Debbie Chang, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Image courtesy of the CW)


Staff Writer, BuddyTV