Before Kourtney and Scott unleash the pop culture equivalent of Rosemary’s Baby upon an unsuspecting audience in the next episode, this week focuses on almost every Kardashian in crisis over their babymaking potential. Khloe faces fertility issues, while Kim considers freezing her eggs and saving them for later. Which Kardashian should have kids? Let’s offer this family a little guidance.

Kourtney and Scott: Battling Over More Babies

The couple square off over whether they’ll pop out more children after Kourtney’s done cooking their current baby. Scott’s completely against it to the point where he’s considering secretly getting a vasectomy rather than pass along his Disick genes. Kourtney desires to pump out as many of her spawn as possible. Which one’s right?

Well, Scott’s right, of course. He’s just that kind of sensible guy. In fact, we see how responsible he is when, despite the fact Kourtney’s stomach resembles a baby — bomb ready to detonate in an explosion of birth — Scott’s willing to leave her and celebrate his birthday in Vegas. Maybe wait until he’s calmed down before creating new children.

On that note, Scott should never calm down.

Kim: Pressing “Snooze” on the Biological Clock

Kim’s feeling her age at 31, and starts wondering whether kids are in her future. Rather than going out and getting knocked up by Kanye, she’s considering saving her eggs. Just like Yeezy’s favorite food fish sticks, eggs are able to be frozen and saved for later.

Saving her precious child-producing eggs until later is exactly what Kim should do, with “later” meaning “after splitting with Kanye.” If Kimye brought a child into the world, it would have half of Kanye’s talent but all of the couple’s ego. The two should make sure not to have any kids together unless they’re comfortable bringing another Chris Brown into the world.

Khloe and Lamar: No Children in Their Future?

Khloe gets heartbreaking news this episode when a doctor reveals she may not be able to conceive. This is especially disappointing considering Khloe and Lamar are constantly above the other Kardashians’ pettiness. Out of all the family, these two are the ones who should be having kids.

Which is why they should make the best out of this situation. If they can’t have kids on their own, Khlomar should secretly steal Scott and Kourtney’s progeny to raise as their own child. It would be that baby’s best chance at getting a normal life.

Now all that’s left is to wait until the season finale of Keeping Up with the Kardashians next week. Are you excited to see Kourtney give birth? Do you want to see Scott get a vasectomy? Comment and let us know!

Daniel Mikelonis
Contributing Writer

(Image courtesy of E!)

Daniel Mikelonis

Contributing Writer, BuddyTV